A couple of years ago I posted about my dating life. In a very humorous review of some good, bad, and terribly exhausting experiences I pretty much chucked the whole idea. That lasted a while, actually two years. This year I have ventured out a few times on actual dates. My opinion is still similar to previous years, I just don't believe I'm cut out for casual dating, it's so much work and I have other ways I enjoy spending time. There is a lovely balance that must be struck and when it's found, being out with someone can be entirely enjoyable (I've recently learned).
What I have learned this time around is that there are actual gentlemen in the world. It's incredible to have never witnessed certain tiny gestures that make a massive impact on how I feel when I go out with someone. So, in advance, dudes...you're welcome for this list of things that you can easily begin to practice with your lover, dates, random women you want to impress......
1. Walk between her and the street/traffic. I swear this made me feel like a true princess, how am I almost 32 and no man had ever done this for me?! Guys, come on, it's so simple but so darn sweet and makes you look like a hero.
2. Pay. I know it is 2014, but honestly it's that good old fashioned care that makes it feel like a treat to be taken out. If I have to buy my own (and god forbid YOUR - this happens way more than I can believe) meal, I would rather save that money for things like yoga and gemstones. I feel pretty confident that most ladies would agree with me. I will offer to pay if I want to.
3. Be chivalrous. Open my door, pull out my chair, etc. If you aren't sure what that means, ask your significant other's dad...he will tell you how to treat his baby.
4. Communicate. Confirm plans, respond to calls/texts, even just to say "busy right now." It's disrespectful to assume that we don't need notice of changes in plans or time to adjust our schedule. Value my time, both in person and via phone. I am pretty low maintenance and spontaneous, however even I require some time to get ready, drive, park, arrange my day, etc. Just give it as much as you can and let's be honest you're on your phone all the time men, some of you even bring your phone into yoga (which is lame unless you're on call for work).
5. Make the plan. Ask for opinions, that's fine, but if you invite me out I don't want the added work of making the plans. Take me out, take responsibility off my shoulders for an evening. I can't promise you that all girls will be as honest as I am, but if you make a choice that sucks, I would be the girl to speak up and offer suggestions.
That's enough to get you started. Good luck, and thank you for making the dating world a tiny bit less frightening to women.
*** Disclaimer time ***
After having been pampered in the ways mentioned above I have a greater appreciation for dates, but I am not actively dating so don't take this the wrong way, I'll probably still say "no thanks."
Friday, December 13, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Roll to your side and let your gaze scan beyond your covers.
Dance your hands over the cotton and down.
Pillow, your support and halo, be engulfed.
Sink into the hold and see the sun play above you in textured lines.
Pictures from your rest reel through your mind, a comfortable cinema.
Write the story to appease your desire.
Sheets, a smooth touch, be caressed.
Bury yourself in a mound of warmth and stave off the chill of winter.
Morning, a new miracle each day.
from amelia at 9:59 AM
Saturday, December 7, 2013
In honor of the teenage boy who peer pressured me to walk down the escalator (that's so mean by the way).
Slow, take it so slowly.
Feel the comfort curl around you,
from your left side to your right side.
The hold is gentle, you won't realize the strength.
Hammock, embrace, guardian.
His wings are all things, they meet every need.
Brilliant, a light beyond any light.
Encompass me warm and strong,
You are the angel I call daily.
I surrender to your help, I need your support.
Breath, touch, challenge.
I welcome you into my journey, I receive your guidance.
from amelia at 11:19 PM
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Fall my darling into the arms of the divine.
Let curses drop away and blessing spill from your lips.
Your skin is luminous, your eyes shine your truth.
Rest your weary body against the support of the earth.
She will stroke your hair with her breeze.
The brush of her satin hand will melt away your sorrow, even your fear.
Lay here, stay long, return often.
This den is your home, your right.
Continue to let your heart be heard through your voice and felt through your presence.
The above photo has been misunderstood. Make of it whatever you would like, for me it has been a great teacher this week.
The story is that I am in this ongoing self portrait project with my yoga practice. It is a practice, of physical asana, breath, meditation, dedication, self acceptance, and other things that pop up day to day. I use a remote to trigger the shutter of my camera, and I have to try things out, it's part of the process. This photo was a trash photo, I was simply testing my placement and focus, clearly I still had to make adjustments. This picture reminded me that sometimes my practice feels easy, sometimes so hard, no matter what it's always practice, never perfect, never performance. Even as I pose for my own frames, it is simply my practice and I share it, flaws, growth, triumph, work, pain, judgement, celebration, etc. I love this photo because it's not even close to perfect, it's just a practice shot.
from amelia at 4:01 PM