Sunday, June 27, 2010

{exploration} ~ austin area photographer

Have you ever entered a phase in life where you just float? Where nothing you do really seems to be on purpose, it is just the natural and easiest way to go? I don't agree with fighting nature, not by any means, but I personally believe that for me, I have to pursue my natural path in life with passion and determination.

Yet, I let myself drift recently. I just found a comfort zone that was great at first, but then became too lackadaisical and the positive energy was lost. After waking up to this fact I first decided to grab hold of life again and live it with meaning and chase after memories.

Yesterday someone told me that I should "do whatever I want to do!" and then posed the questions "what DO you really want to do?" Not up and move to New York, I'm talking about my life ambition and even career path for long term. He asked me this and without hesitation I responded that I really want to write a book. This is no secret, I have mentioned it on here numerous times, still I linger in the state of twirling ideas in my head and typing out a few short stories or blog posts.... I have done nothing more to go after this long time goal. Perhaps because I've seen it as impossible or vain. There have been times when I thought to myself "who would read my book? What would I even write about? Could I really tell my story?" My list of arguments with myself goes on and on. In the end of that raging battle in my mind, I come up with one answer....undecided. The same friend who provoked these thoughts also gave me wise advice, "you don't have to know, just write. You don't need an audience or an ending, just write it."

So maybe it takes no shape or has no outline, but the chapters will begin in my journals (yes, plural, I have a few that I write different things...) and on notes, however and whenever I have the ideas, I will start recording them. Truth is, I think maybe I have something inside that just one person needs to hear or relate to, that would make a reason for my writing. I'm on a journey now to live in each moment, grasp the emotion it holds, savor it, explore it, record it....and get back to being FULLY and vivaciously...me.

{exploring me}

Totally out of my comfort zone to show a picture of myself THIS close up. I'm pushing myself outside the walls and limitations I have been living in, pictures and all. :)

signblog

2 comments:

nikkibrey said...

I'm kind of going through the same thing right now. I have moved 5 times in 6 years and swore I would never move again and start over yet after the past week I find myself wondering could I move one more time?...
Do what is best for you and your girls that what I keep telling myself. Good luck and I will watch you all the way!

*reyanna klein* said...

I SO know this feeling! Since I was seven, I've wanted to write a book. I even started a few and finished a few small children's stories.

And you're right... it starts with journaling, blog posts, notes. That's such a great way to look at it! When I was younger, and I would visit my grandparents, I would ask for a pad of paper (they'd hand me those giant yellow ones... LOL), and remember just sitting on the kitchen table and writing. Anything and everything that came to my mind. Possibly acting out dialogue right there or the pool or even the shower. LOL. I miss those days.

Thanks for the inspiration. I WANT to. I always have. I just... need to get on that. :-)

And yeah, you should. :-)