Now onto what I truly wanted to share tonight...
With Mother's Day approaching I have made a few jokes recently about how I look forward to when my girls are a little older and will do something as a treat for me. Selfish, yes I am and I admit it. I did decide however that I will do something for my girls an reverse the conventional ideas of Mother's Day. Giving back to the whole reason for the day...my girls who make me try to be a better mother every day.
When I was growing up my dad treated my mom like a queen in front of me. He seemed to elevate her above all and dote on her. In truth, I idolized my mother. In my mind she was the most beautiful and talented woman on earth. Her pictures from her teen years seemed impossibly gorgeous, like the girl everyone would envy. She has painted, sewn, owned her own business, played tennis, and more...I felt there was nothing she could not excel at if she tried. Even when I disliked her, I still thought she was amazing. When I was angry with her, I often tried to blame others to avoid discord with her. Through hard times, scary times, beautiful times, and most enjoyable times, I loved my mom more than anyone.
Being a grown up is not always fun. One day I had to face the fact that my mom is an incredible person, but she is human. I think I began to realize this when I saw myself love my oldest so much, but I still made so many mistakes as a mother. My mom rarely talks to me because she is so disappointed in my choice to divorce. There is a great big empty spot in my life where my mom belongs, but I feel that my ideals which I developed as a child will never be met. I must look for ways to be real and open with my girls and love them without condition. This is my lesson for mother's day and my mid-year resolution.
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7 comments:
Hey Im #3! I come every day to see what goodie you may have posted!;) I was just talking to myself yesterday (under my breath) about what was taking so long! lol anyway love the post. and you are right, mothers are not perfect and we only fully realise that when we become mothers and long for our kids unconditional love. We probably wont get it till they are grown and realise we arent human;)
I am one who cares also. I have been checking the blog lately wondering where you might be!!! I have a very challenging relationship with my mom as well. She doesn't like my husband...she feels I could have done better. It is so fustrating we have been married for 10 years and have two girls and are very happy together and that is not enough for her. We are moving as well. We live here near them and we are moving to TX in two weeks where we bought our business and that is killing her as well. If there is anything that I have learned lately it is that our mothers love us because we are their children, but they don't know how to tell us or show us when they are not happy instead they make life challenging!!!!
your such an inspiration
i missed you too.
this is such hard stuff, amelia. i'm hoping for those empty spots to fill to overflowing.
Count me too! You are on my google feed so I can see right away when you post. Plus, I also follow you on twitter! You are definitely missed.
I'm so sorry you are going through such a hard time right now.
I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day with your girlies!
I miss you too. and regarding your Mom just remember how you love your kids no matter what, I 'm so sure she miss you too. one day she will accept you as you are, it took my aunt who race me who is like my mother more than 15 years to accept me the way I'm yes you heard right 15 years.
hope you're doing well, sweetie...i know sometimes blog silence can mean you're out living full and bright, but it can also mean sadness...so i'm praying just in case.
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