Friday, June 5, 2009

epiphany

Today I found a corner. No, I haven't fully recovered and I am not feeling all that great... not the corner I have been aching to turn. This corner is based on a choice. This morning it hit me like a load of bricks... I can't sit around waiting to feel better and longing for the days when I am 100%. I have to choose to be happy each day with the tiny steps I am taking. My focus has to change and today I decided that I will no longer be wrapped up in self pity, but I will be grateful for each new day and each time I get up and walk outside.

There could be so many more terrible things going on and this is such a temporary place in my life where things are hurting. I can't let it bring me down, I have to think about making the most of every day, seizing every chance to push myself a little more, enjoying the naps that my body tells me I need.

So, no more feeling sorry for myself and missing my old energetic self... no more looking at my clothes and shoes and being sad that I am stuck in bed in pj's... I am getting dressed as much as possible and doing as much as I am physically able! I will get better in time, but for now attitude is everything and I am going to make mine a positive one!!

signblog

9 comments:

Greeneyes said...

Good choice. It will pay off in spades. :D Love ya!

Lisa~ said...

You go girl! That's the Amy I know. Attitude IS everything:)

Rachael Wilkins said...

Ah, dear Ame. I'm glad you have reached this place in your healing. Perspective is vital to the recovery process, whether it is physical, emotional or otherwise. Embracing every moment of this season (and it is a season) will empower you and make you a stronger woman. Enjoy the time with your parents. One day you will look back and treasure this time in your life and the good things that will come from it.

And when all else fails, a little chocolate never hurt anybody. :-)

Rachael

Elizabeth Cranmer said...

smart cookie! I hope you do just enough to feel good and not so much that you hurt yourself. Sometimes just being in 'real' clothes makes such a difference. Still wishing good things your way.

Elizabeth Cranmer said...

P.S. Good song pic!

Anonymous said...

Hey Amelia :) It's Rachel (emma*jean), not sure if you remember me or not. Just wanted to pop in and let you know I love your blog and tell you that your in my thoughts. Better days will come!
Rachel

Mom2Mom Ministry said...

Oh honey, you'll make it. And it is the climb! Not what's on the other side. God is good and he will lead you each step of your recovery journey. Know we're praying for you. And can identify with where you are since my niece was just there. Love and Kisses from far away.
Julie in SC
www.homeschoolblogger.com/juliestew

Leah said...

That a girl!!! You keep pushing and keep climbing. The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle and he is right beside you holding your hand. :) Funny you picked the Miley Song...my sister fell off the wagon after 15 years of being sober and when she got out of rehab for alcoholism (after a near death experience), I told her that was "her" song. She is as of yesterday...60 days sober! And doing so much to recover and change her life again! You can do it too...funny how it relates to different people in different ways. It makes me tear up every time I hear it!!! Keep being positive!!!

Vanessa said...

oh but i've had you down as a hugely positive and optimistic person all along, amelia! i mean, you would have been superhuman not to have felt a little off during these post-op days!! anyway... making a conscious decision to enjoy life to the full is always a good idea (no matter what the circumstances... so, yes, i take note... and thank you for the reminder!)
you rock lots and lots, girl
love to you
Vx