By a certain age, or by the culmination of many events in life, individually we ascertain trust levels about everyone we meet. For some of us, we trust easily and are quick to believe everything we are told. Others take much longer and require people to prove that they are trustworthy. I fall into the first group (as you might have noticed) who readily trust. For me I believe that people are good and only do bad things. My heart and soul open up and I find it confusing when others refuse to believe me or accept my sincerity. This causes me much pain and as you can probably guess, many big disappointments.
One would assume that with time I would change and start being more of a skeptic (I have been lied to so much it's almost comical). I try, but inside I still feel the letdown because even if I pretend to have a big wall, it's really paper thin and my hopes are up that I can believe everything I am told. Even advertisements work on me, I can read the back of shampoo bottles for over an hour trying to decide which one REALLY will give me incredibly healthy hair that I will notice in one week. Gullible?...maybe. I just can't imagine going through life any other way. I'm being more careful to remember to treasure what I treasure and share with special few, but in the deepest, most special place in my heart, I know that I was created to give and to pour myself out without inhibition. One day that will be safe.
I thought about this because of conversation last night with my best friend and I have to thank her for always reminding me that I have to hold back at least a little. Sunny, without you'd I'd probably be heartbroken, nearly dead, and for sure I'd never know that rockstars don't smile. I love you a ton and appreciate when you teach me how to toughen up a little.
Monday, November 8, 2010
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