The ache for you lingers in my arms even as they grow strong.
All this time I've longed to nurture you, and now it's clear that I need my care.
I stepped back from self pity and threw it away.
My choice is to be here, all in.
There isn't a moment with you I regret, you've been a mirror for me, you've shown me my work.
Though my feelings have been hurt, I hold myself open.
You have my compassion until the end of our time here.
Clouds came over me that day and I've been dwelling in the shadow of heartache.
The sunless Summer is dissipating around me, the chill of Winter has me burning.
I want to use myself up, pour myself out, and celebrate my purpose.
I saw my heart spill forth like a teapot, I'm born to share.
The woman I see is one I treasure.
An extravagant giver, tenacious and stubborn in love.
Considerate and loyal to the point of mockery.
The mother of my children, my inner guide, my strength.
There wasn't a mistake I made that caused you to push me away.
For months I refused to love this body and soul consumed with the notion that I messed up.
Who I am is right for me and I gave myself to you authentically.
Every touch, word, smile, gift, silence, and scent was from my essence.
I wouldn't change how I showed up and I accept where we are.
This is where I right my wrong.
I plunge my heart back in my chest.
I lavish my skin with decadent scrubs and oils.
My feet never stop.
Books are once again my lifeblood.
The sky holds wonder this week.
I've seen the sunrise every day.
I was made for this life, made to love me.