{ to live life ethereal } ~ austin area photographer

Get ready for a lengthy and obscure post. The tide of my mind has churned much in it's swell and this session of writing comes long overdue....

Recently I have found myself many times explaining my beliefs, my "guidelines on life" you could say. My upbringing is easiest to communicate to others, I was raised Christian, with a strong religious base from my parents (they grew up Presbyterian). I am so grateful for my history, for the values I was brought up with, please don't read any bashing in this, I am very much a support of people living and following whatever religion or belief fits their soul. Inside of me, there were loads of unanswered questions and too many contradictions within my life and some around me. I just felt out of place. When my marriage troubles were beginning to overwhelm my life I ran to my church and those there. As things progressed in the wrong direction, I knew that I had to seek truth, truth of what I felt and what I was living with. As I went through this, I learned so much about myself and about those who had been close to me. Moving away was another giant step in getting to know who Amelia really is. Only a few stayed near me, much of what I had been promised from friends or my "church family" fell by the wayside when they didn't see me tri-weekly. Even returning home for a summer earned me only 2 visitors who came to say they were still concerned with my life and continuing our friendship. I learned so much that year.

Since that time, I pursued books and views, some I connected with and some not so much. Parts of books very much meant things to me and came alive in my heart, others I felt contradicted my core belief that there is a a God and He spins the Universe. I am a great believer that all things happen in life in accordance to a pull on our lives, we can move and flow with that pull and let the Universe work for us, or we can fight and try to control something we never really are big enough or wise enough to control...and ultimately we harm our own path. I believe trials come into life to provide a window to our own strength and to build faith inside us. It's all in how I respond to the difficulties that come my way. I have seen many times this prove itself true. The world is full of opportunities to give back and help others faith grow. Some call it karma, I call it putting positivity out there. I do this not so I can have something back, but because I believe what I put out, attracts more positivity and thus will eventually breed a happier and more beautiful world. Yes, when I share this people are eager to try and burst my happiness bubble, and yes, sometimes I get sad and negative, but then I remember that perception is reality to most and I can change my own world by how I see it. I can see everything as a problem and be overcome with worry, or I can see problems as a chance for a solution and blessing to touch my life and be filled with gratitude.

An old manager of mine loaned me a book that changed my life. I did not agree with 100% of the book, but I took 4 great principals into my heart as guidelines to try and live by. I struggle still, they sound simple but very much go against the nature of what I lived by before. In no certain order these beautiful life changing rules are: Be impeccable with my word- speak good not evil about others and myself: Never take things personally- others don't have the power to curse me so let things roll off: Never make assumptions- I cannot read minds and it's always best to be honest and just ask when I have a question, assumptions only hurt people and inhibit their life: Always do my best- and I can always be proud of what I have done. Those 4 things have become a part of who I am, I fail often, but I keep reminding myself that all life is a growing process.

Not to be mentioned last because of importance, because I believe it is super important...I believe in love. In many forms I believe that love is the thing we are all searching for in our lives. Some are searching for the love of a parent that they never felt, some might be hoping to find romantic love, for others the journey may be toward giving the love they feel is being built up to pour out on a child. We all need to give love and receive love. It drives life whether we are aware of it or not. As cliche as this sounds, we first have to know love on our own. Some will say "love yourself" I personally believe loving myself means seeing that I was created and placed here for a great reason and enjoy who I have been made and try to be pure and honest and respect my place here, to be grateful and happy with who I am. I feel that way very much, I love the life I have been given. All of the things in my life are so much more than I could ever hope for. Things that used to make me feel weird or out of place now make me feel immensely blessed.

There you have it, that is what makes me live each day with a big smile or puts the smile back on my face after a rough day...the awareness of all that I have been given and all that I can give back.

{ feverishly gratifying } ~ austin area child photographer

Evelyn was sent home from school Wednesday with a fever. Of course no parent wants their child to be sick, however she and I both reaped a reward the following day...

Fever gone, Evelyn was feeling fine. School policy required her to stay home another full 24 hours fever free. So the two of us just got to spend a morning alone doing whatever we pleased. To start we had oatmeal, a morning must for me. Then it was time for some nail painting, Evy chose 5 colors, one for each finger/toe. Snuggling was included as well. Then she accompanied me to the gym, where she stayed in the kids area and I took a Pilates class and did some cardio. To quote my silly little miss priss "there were mostly boys in the playroom and they were ALL annoying." I let her know that most boys are. She said she will go back sometime, but it was kind of annoying.



After all that excitement we went for a milkshake per Evelyn's special request. :) I will remember always her cute little face all sucked in trying to get the shake up the straw, her eyes couldn't have looked any bigger or shone any more anticipation and glee.



I needed this day with Evy to remind me of the benefits to my current job situation. If I had a typical 9-5 job this day wouldn't have been possible. When I was in retail I could never have taken off to stay with a sick kiddo and she surely would never have been allowed to come with me. So even though my career path is a little off beat right now, I am so grateful for it. Whatever is going to happen, will happen, and right now I want to learn the lessons I am supposed to that prepare me for the next exciting chapter in my crazy life.

{feelings show} ~ austin area photographer

First and foremost I have to thank Shelli and Pedro for your extremely kind and timely emails/comments. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! You both really touched me and my heart is so full of gratefulness I just can't express it to you enough.

I've felt something brewing inside for the past couple of weeks. I had no idea what was going on, where my mind was, just feeling a little lost and lonely... Luckily I have seen what shutting myself away does, so I didn't isolate thank goodness. Still, I wasn't really able to knock the feeling that something needed attention deep within. Today I think someone reminded me.




I haven't been making time for my art. My one outlet aside from running that is 100% me without deadlines or directions. Just taking the pictures that I love, capturing the moments that I see as beautiful. Don't misunderstand, I do love shooting for others as well, but my truest pleasure behind the camera is snapping without expectation, free to interpret the world around me as I see it in my mind and how I want to remember it years from now.

So the above collage is a little sample of what my evening was like, building memories with my most precious treasures in life...my girls. I'm going to challenge myself to take at least one photo a day, and hopefully I will stop neglecting my love and start sharpening my skill.

I'm completely preaching to the choir when I say this, but take hold of each spare moment, in every unexpected piece of time you can snag, do something that matters. Hug your babies, kiss your lover, write your thoughts, read a book, tell a story, sing a song...really and truly live. Finding time is always hard (I know this, with 2 jobs and 3 kids I'm still trying to work in exercise lately) but if you really look hard, there are snippets when you can sit down and color a picture or grab your loved one and say how much you care. These things don't take that much time, but they matter so much, especially when the day is over and you consider what you've done....these things matter most.

hot

I've just finished my run and I am super sweaty, but all I can think of today (well not ALL.... but a large amount of my thoughts) is how much I want it to be hot enough to swim! My air conditioner is also broken, so I am relying on windows. It's breezy and nice out, which is brilliant on a regular day, but I want to swim, so maybe I should close all the windows and have my own sauna. The problem there is that the girls sort of get wild crazy mean when they get too warm, it's some weird thing that is linked between temperature and a persons temper.

This is where I would love to be.. it's a beach in Brazil, isn't it gorgeous?! *sigh*



Honestly there is a great deal on my mind besides swimming.. I'm in a great mood despite my lack of a heated pool to appease my longing for the water. This week has been amazing, so upbeat and exciting, each day has I have been able to enjoy things like laughing, hugging, being with friends and family, walking on a beautiful day, funny stories, and inside jokes.... I want to make next week even more outstanding, I can't wait to see what it brings!

So I'm playing Pearl Jam's version of "Last Kiss" today, because I've just been in a real "pearl jam" kind of mood today... ran to them today and it was a good GOOD run, I feel ready to lounge by the pool now (even if it's too cold to dip in).