{ to live life ethereal } ~ austin area photographer

Get ready for a lengthy and obscure post. The tide of my mind has churned much in it's swell and this session of writing comes long overdue....

Recently I have found myself many times explaining my beliefs, my "guidelines on life" you could say. My upbringing is easiest to communicate to others, I was raised Christian, with a strong religious base from my parents (they grew up Presbyterian). I am so grateful for my history, for the values I was brought up with, please don't read any bashing in this, I am very much a support of people living and following whatever religion or belief fits their soul. Inside of me, there were loads of unanswered questions and too many contradictions within my life and some around me. I just felt out of place. When my marriage troubles were beginning to overwhelm my life I ran to my church and those there. As things progressed in the wrong direction, I knew that I had to seek truth, truth of what I felt and what I was living with. As I went through this, I learned so much about myself and about those who had been close to me. Moving away was another giant step in getting to know who Amelia really is. Only a few stayed near me, much of what I had been promised from friends or my "church family" fell by the wayside when they didn't see me tri-weekly. Even returning home for a summer earned me only 2 visitors who came to say they were still concerned with my life and continuing our friendship. I learned so much that year.

Since that time, I pursued books and views, some I connected with and some not so much. Parts of books very much meant things to me and came alive in my heart, others I felt contradicted my core belief that there is a a God and He spins the Universe. I am a great believer that all things happen in life in accordance to a pull on our lives, we can move and flow with that pull and let the Universe work for us, or we can fight and try to control something we never really are big enough or wise enough to control...and ultimately we harm our own path. I believe trials come into life to provide a window to our own strength and to build faith inside us. It's all in how I respond to the difficulties that come my way. I have seen many times this prove itself true. The world is full of opportunities to give back and help others faith grow. Some call it karma, I call it putting positivity out there. I do this not so I can have something back, but because I believe what I put out, attracts more positivity and thus will eventually breed a happier and more beautiful world. Yes, when I share this people are eager to try and burst my happiness bubble, and yes, sometimes I get sad and negative, but then I remember that perception is reality to most and I can change my own world by how I see it. I can see everything as a problem and be overcome with worry, or I can see problems as a chance for a solution and blessing to touch my life and be filled with gratitude.

An old manager of mine loaned me a book that changed my life. I did not agree with 100% of the book, but I took 4 great principals into my heart as guidelines to try and live by. I struggle still, they sound simple but very much go against the nature of what I lived by before. In no certain order these beautiful life changing rules are: Be impeccable with my word- speak good not evil about others and myself: Never take things personally- others don't have the power to curse me so let things roll off: Never make assumptions- I cannot read minds and it's always best to be honest and just ask when I have a question, assumptions only hurt people and inhibit their life: Always do my best- and I can always be proud of what I have done. Those 4 things have become a part of who I am, I fail often, but I keep reminding myself that all life is a growing process.

Not to be mentioned last because of importance, because I believe it is super important...I believe in love. In many forms I believe that love is the thing we are all searching for in our lives. Some are searching for the love of a parent that they never felt, some might be hoping to find romantic love, for others the journey may be toward giving the love they feel is being built up to pour out on a child. We all need to give love and receive love. It drives life whether we are aware of it or not. As cliche as this sounds, we first have to know love on our own. Some will say "love yourself" I personally believe loving myself means seeing that I was created and placed here for a great reason and enjoy who I have been made and try to be pure and honest and respect my place here, to be grateful and happy with who I am. I feel that way very much, I love the life I have been given. All of the things in my life are so much more than I could ever hope for. Things that used to make me feel weird or out of place now make me feel immensely blessed.

There you have it, that is what makes me live each day with a big smile or puts the smile back on my face after a rough day...the awareness of all that I have been given and all that I can give back.