masyn unfettered on the wii

This is what happens when a five year old with some O.C.D. characteristics plays a Wii.



There aren't any words needed here... it made me laugh to watch her, so I'm sharing the joy.

not so puerile anymore

I get asked fairly often "don't you have 3 girls?" I answer emphatically (and with a mental rolling of my eyes) "yes." The eye rolling is not due to the asking of the question, but merely to the fact that I have to be asked.... sometimes I find myself exasperated with my beautiful firstborn, because she is never present for picture taking! If I am lucky enough to hog tie her long enough to shoot some pictures, her pained expressions make me feel much too guilty to post them on here (not to mention the ropes that show in the background of how she is tied up).

I reduced myself to bribery. Unabashedly, I admit this to you all. I buttered her up with promises of the use of my fedora and a personal one-on-one photo shoot. Of course the weather was boiling and her typical look of torture surfaced quickly (there was apparently a very important Wii game she needed to go play), but I did manage to snag this picture.



More recently and to the point of this post, Avery (that's my oldest daughter for those of you who are still lost) mentioned the other day something about the "P" word. Yes, she was talking about something and I was buried deep in my Harry Potter book, when like screeching tires on a semi wet road my ears were assaulted with "oh you mean like puberty?"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!...went through my mind. She's ten, I'm not ready for this, not ready for her to be so grown and to know all this stuff. I'm still waiting for my own breasts to develop, I don't think I can manage telling her about hers.

Once they picked me up off the floor, (no that's a joke, if I fell it would be super bad right now as I am still healing from back surgery) I regained my composure and asked her if she knew what that...that...P word meant. She said "no, not really, just heard it on tv."

*sigh*

Thank you God! I was still going to have time to tell her myself.

So, as you all might have guessed by now, we are having "the talk" almost daily. We are embracing ideas about better hygiene, body image, healthy living, and reading a book together that helps us talk on her level where I have often been unable to express to her the importance of some of these issues (especially hygiene and eating...somehow she thinks books must be right so maybe Mama isn't that dumb after all since the book agrees with what I have been saying for the past couple years). I won't embarrass her by sharing the private questions and answers we have talked about, because she does read this from time to time, but to all you moms of girls in this precarious time of life, don't hesitate as I did... having these times together is SO helpful. It has opened the door for some communication between us that she wasn't sure how to put into words and I have been able to grasp a little more that she is in fact becoming a young woman and I have to let her try some things and that it's okay to guide her towards becoming a woman. I'm making it a point to help her find the fun in being a girl and wearing skirts, or make up, or how to do fun things with her hair.

She isn't grown up yet, but she's getting there and I want to be by her side the whole way.



Avery, this is a special note to you as you snoop around my blog:

I love you baby! I love singing to Taylor Swift with you. I love playing Fashion Party on the Wii. I love that you care about your sisters, even though sometimes they make you so mad you hit (I don't love that you hit sometimes). I love that you want to spend time with your silly mama. I love spending time with you. I love it when you talk to me. I love when we get to shop together. I love fixing your hair. I love looking at your baby pictures. I love swimming with you. I love getting to watch you grow up. I love how well you adjust to new places. I love walking in to see you sleeping with your glow worm. I love that God put you in my life!

sometimes.

There are many things that are commonly considered to be cute and faces that are typically thought to be cute. Most children utter "cheese" the moment they see a camera. Trained from birth to look straight at the lens and flash a smile, genuine or not.

I have tried hard to keep my girls from this. In fact, it's quite tricky, but I like to just pretend there is no camera and play with them as usual so that I get a real and what I find to be the most precious pictures... candid shots.

The only trouble with my choice in their photographic upbringing is that when they ARE aware of my camera's presence, they either run, or do this....



Yes, these really are their faces just from seeing "The Beast" (that's my camera). I didn't say or do anything to upset them, they just didn't want me to take a picture I guess, because once they saw glass, the smiles faded.



The truth is though, I really love these faces too, pouty and all, I just want to kiss and hug away the frowns. I absolutely love every face they make, even though they aren't all chipper and they don't sniff the "cheese" face, I would sometimes rather have a scowl than anything else...if it means being real, I'd for sure rather have the moody faces.

leaps and bounds

I am beyond excited, beyond thrilled... really I am just super grateful and extremely giddy! I have finally turned some kind of corner! I feel so much better this week!!!

My pain has subsided and is more what I would call "discomfort." I am not pain free, but it's so tolerable that I am just pushing ahead with movement and exercises at physical therapy and home. Today I got in a pool, though I am not yet strong enough to swim, I could finally hold my girls and that felt wonderful, I've missed picking them up.



As evident by my picture, I can now move enough to lay on my stomach, which was a feat a couple weeks ago. Riding in cars is finally not like facing a gauntlet. I just feel like life is going to be okay again, I have a refreshed outlook and I think for the first time since my surgery, I might see that this was a good choice. :o)

I still have lots of swelling and a mysteriously gross pot belly to get rid of, but I'm working hard to tackle those as well.

Thank you all for the outpouring of love and prayers, they have meant so much to me and I know have aided in my making it through this, because there were days (you can ask my mom) I thought maybe I'd rather just die than keep dealing with the pain and the recovery. It's not over, but this week has been the best yet and I just have a great feeling that I will keep getting better and better and return to Austin and Anthro.... oh I just can't wait, I miss life!!!

brighter times

This week I have been out of the house a few times! It feels bittersweet, because it's so nice to get out, but I do have to take it in small doses because I get sore fast and I get tired very quickly.

All that taken into account wasn't enough to keep me from planning a little picnic with the girls at the park. Sandwiches, sunshine, playtime, and pictures! What more could I ask for?!

Started with food...



Masyn was ready to eat...



...but Evy was ready to play!









After eating and playing and mama snapping several pictures, it was time to pack up and go. I can't wait to be stronger and get on the swings with them. I am definitely on the mend here, thanks for all the prayers and comments!! Still a long way to go, but I begin physical therapy on Tuesday and I think this will help me a great deal. Yay!!

a helping hand..

So maybe this is helping just so I can win something.. but no, seriously, I LOVE this lady and want you all to see her gorgeous jewelry!

Erin, owner/designer/craftswoman/blogger/beautiful friend... is having a giveaway. Hop over to her blog and check it out!!

CLICK THE PIC!

epiphany

Today I found a corner. No, I haven't fully recovered and I am not feeling all that great... not the corner I have been aching to turn. This corner is based on a choice. This morning it hit me like a load of bricks... I can't sit around waiting to feel better and longing for the days when I am 100%. I have to choose to be happy each day with the tiny steps I am taking. My focus has to change and today I decided that I will no longer be wrapped up in self pity, but I will be grateful for each new day and each time I get up and walk outside.

There could be so many more terrible things going on and this is such a temporary place in my life where things are hurting. I can't let it bring me down, I have to think about making the most of every day, seizing every chance to push myself a little more, enjoying the naps that my body tells me I need.

So, no more feeling sorry for myself and missing my old energetic self... no more looking at my clothes and shoes and being sad that I am stuck in bed in pj's... I am getting dressed as much as possible and doing as much as I am physically able! I will get better in time, but for now attitude is everything and I am going to make mine a positive one!!

mama again - {austin area child photographer}

After 2 weeks and 3 days... I am a mama again! My girls are finally here with me at my parents house! There is so much that I can't do for them, so thankfully Gam and Pop are doing all the hard stuff like lifting and baths, but it's nice to be reading stories and snuggling with my babies after such a long time apart.



In recovery news, I am really doing better. I shower alone now, although my mom fears that I might pass out or slip so she stands guard right outside. :o) I am grateful she is there, because I'm a tiny bit fearful myself, but it feels good to do something on my own. Being a little more able to care for myself gives me hope that I will get over all this and maybe one day be glad I chose to have this surgery. LOL, I know I will be glad... some day.

My sitting and walking time has grown too, I was up for over an hour last night before getting light headed! I am so excited about these small accomplishments, because I really was afraid that I had made a huge mistake and I would never heal. Now I feel like I have come a little ways and little by little I can maybe have a life again.

Funny story from Masyn, because she is already cracking me up....

First funny~
Evy and Masyn were trying to play a game but Evelyn didn't want to play by the rules so she left and said "I'm not playing with you anymore Masyn!"

Evelyn climbed up in bed with me to snuggle and Masyn said "Mama, do you really want to snuggle with a girl so mean?"

Second funny~
Masyn pretended for a long time this morning that she could only speak Spanish, so Evy was crying and begging her to play or explain and Masyn just kept on rambling off non-sense that she called Spanish.

I was listening and dying laughing... These girls brighten my day SO much!!!! So long boredom!!!!!