{ ingenuously white trash } ~ austin area photographer

The new job has allowed me a pretty set and normal schedule, so finally I have weekends on a regular basis to spend with my girls. A couple weeks ago I declared it to be hair cut day. I had no idea how backwoods I was being by suggesting this, after all, I have cut the girl's hair in the past. The difference this time was my intent on noticing details lately and really paying close attention to the seemingly insignificant. So it was on this particular Saturday that I realized I am distinctly white trash at times (with a dash of hippie).



I set up a little make shift salon in the kitchen, which consisted of a sheet on the floor (Ralph Lauren sheet which makes it that much more of an oxy moron just like me), a vintage chair with a footstool on top, and a potato towel for a drape. So there I stood barefoot, skirt tucked in the top because it's super long and I had to get it out of the way, then I tucked my scissors into the waistband and went to work (just after snapping a self portrait to remind myself of this day).



We had a ball, truly. There was laughter, giggles, jokes, and fun. I really couldn't have designed a better day and it all happened just by being present. I have let so many days slip by un-adored. I know it will happen again because I'm human, however my aim is to savor time, live a little more on the edge, keep myself open, and be childlike with my girls.




Last night while talking to a very dear friend, I shared something that has been washing over me lately and kind of become one of those revelations that changes my perspective of something I've been semi aware of into a greater understanding and appreciation. The thought is this: I want my girls to know their mom. I can't say that I truly know my own mother. When I say know, I mean deeply understand her nature, her likes, her style, her nurturing, ect. In order for any child to really grasp the depth of who their parents are as individuals and not just parents, the mother and father must each know who they are. What I'm saying is, if I had just me in this world...who am I? That's the person I want my girls to know because I want them to grow up to do the same, to be who they are and live in a healthy state of independence. As I have been reading another book (because I like to read more than one at a time, I'm weird that way), a book about mental health and the things we have to learn to heal from our pasts, I'm challenged by the stories in it and want to give my girls a well balanced example. I know that my life and the choices I have made already will affect them and often that scares me, but honesty and love are powerful and I believe I have some pretty darn fantastic girls even as young as they are I am so proud of who they are.




Being just a little silly is certainly something I enjoy, okay maybe I'm a lot silly. Life is way too short to be rigid and have no fun. Playing hair dresser and squirting water in my kids face to make them laugh are just part of my job s their mom, every job has it's perks you know...some just have more than others. ;) It will take somebody pretty incredible to ever be brought into our circle here, I sometimes don't think it's going to happen. Going back to the place of knowing myself, I do know that's what I want, I want to share this crazy and beautiful life one day with someone with a strong and positive nature.




That's all the heavy stuff for tonight. Day one of my stepping away from Facebook has gone well. I took the app off my phone and sent personal emails for birthdays instead of using a wall post. I also took more pictures today than I have in a while, actually grabbed my Beast when I left for the gym at 6 am and drove an hour to my gym 15 minutes away... SNOW day in Austin, crazy! You will see those pictures soon enough. Goodnight sweet readers and I hope you will add my link to your faves or something so we do not lose touch now that I will not be posting these links on Facebook much longer....