{ deeply shallow } ~ austin area photographer

Yesterday (and for a while before that) I was a mess. Unhappy and just not myself. I could argue that things aren't as I would like them to be in all areas of my life, but that's no excuse to remain unhappy. I was so upset with myself for not being able to escape the funk I was settling into. All my usual tricks to lift my spirits were not working, something was seriously wrong. Today, after sleeping in a while, going to a good yoga practice, and laying in the sun sweating out the negativity, I came inside and watched a lot of Californication then sat on my balcony and watched it rain while flipping through Shape magazine. In that moment of looking at beauty tips and new moves to mix into my workout, I snapped back into me. I felt happiness when I thought about how I wanted to fix my hair and new make-up I wanted to try. The thought of painting nails with a friend and getting outside my own pity party made me smile and that's when the sadness went away. I wonder now if I was just trying too hard to smile or was I looking for something bigger and more meaningful than YSL mascara? Maybe and I guess for me, I just need to stay open, stay appreciative, and not get in the way of my own happiness.