a log roll

Yes, that's what they call it when I lay down in bed. So it seems very fitting that my mom lost a tree last week to wind and I snapped a picture because it reminded me of my own back laying on the bed. I tried to capture my back for you all with my timer and it didn't work out that well. I will try again another time.

Here is my last diptych for May's SPC theme.



I am improving little by little. Now I am able to sit up for 30 minutes or so. Currently I am most annoyed by some congestion causing my ears to sound like I am wearing ear plugs. My headaches are still present, but they do take longer to build so I am able to get up and around a little more. I haven't had internet access since the tree fell because it landed on my mom's water well, so we moved to my grandma's house which is not set up for internet. :o(

I'm posting from my mom's today as we have come to get more clothes and a few other things we needed. I am shamefully addicted to my computer because this is what I went to do first when we got here.

So if you want to get in touch with me texting is the only way really. :o( I don't know when we will be back here again and have wireless. I miss you all and I look forward to answering emails and comments as soon as we move back here!

sleep is a beautiful thing

This is another brief update, because I am still sitting up in small amounts of time.

I just wanted to share my recent victory, I have switched to the high power pain medicine and FINALLY got to sleep! It felt amazing, I was asleep for 3 hours in one stretch. I feel like a new person after sleeping good for the first night in over a week. I hope this means I am getting closer to the healing and the proverbial corner that everyone says I will be turning soon.

Enjoy Mr. David Cook singing "Music Of The Night" and take a nap, sleep is a PRECIOUS thing!!!

xoxo~Amelia

mini touch base

Hello again and thanks for the comments regarding my last attempt at posting. :o)

I'm at my mom's now, recovering slooooooowly. I wish I could list some progress, but I am still very lazy and inhibited. I have to lie down most of the day and though I get up to walk, I want to lay back down very quickly.

Right now I have been pushing myself to sit up in bed a little bit and I am at this moment getting a headache and breaking into a cold sweat, so I will sign off, but I just wanted to thank you all and let you know I miss you, I miss sharing funny stories and talking about life with you all... it seems funnier things happen when I can't get on here long enough to blog about it. My dreams alone would prove enough to write about for possibly another year. Apparently my brain is not good on drugs.

Okay love you all, seeing spots... xo~Amelia

trying to update ~ forgive typos and non-sense

I'm on day 5 in the hospital.

My first attempt at logging onto the internet and I am already flooded with emotion and a little woozy.

It seems the fluid around my brain is a little lower than it should be, so sitting up gives me a massive headache. They are treating this and I am improving, but my trials at sitting up have been limited mainly to trips to the bathroom.

I can't even thank you all enough for giving me such a bright and warm awakening from this, it has been a much bigger ordeal for me than I thought it would be. I find myself questioning if it will ever be worth it or if I will have any life left after this, you all remind me that there is a much bigger picture playing out here and I will keep taking this all one day at a time.

with loads of gratitude and love~ Amelia

ps. All vanity is lost in hospitals, and you can quote me on that.

a little cowboy on the way - {austin area maternity photographer}

So following up to this session... gorgeous mom-to-be is now ending her second trimester and hitting the "back nine." I can't believe how cute she is and I was thrilled to get to shoot this special time for her and even daddy was included this time!



The nursery is cowboy themed and darling, hence the country music on my site, trust me I will not make this a habit. :o)






The shot above and the following shot are my two faves... I LOVE the emotion in the black and white, they are so happy and so in love. As for the next, if you know me, you know I have a "foot fetish." Yes, I adore feet, and I am also extremely weird about them...protective I guess. For instance, my mom offered to loan me her slippers for the hospital and I adamantly declined, insisting that I could not wear her foot germs. Does anyone think that is over board or am I okay?



They are going to have such a precious little boy, they are TOO cute!!

Okay so surgery tomorrow, I will be out of touch for a few days. I will post as soon as I can and let you all know how things went! Thanks for prayers and lovely emails-texts-calls-cards!!!! I love you all so much!! 4 AM is coming soon, better wrap this up.

maybe nerves, maybe not.

Maybe it's just nail polish. Whatever the reason, I can't seem to get paint to stay on my nails. This particular self given manicure was beautiful for about 8 hours. After that it just began to chip, mind you, I did use a high dollar top coat that promised in writing to be durable and last for up to (UP to...) 14 days! That "up to" part saves their rear end. Once the chipping starts, I can't help myself... I pick at it non stop.

This is week 2 of self portrait challenge in the month of May with a theme of "Diptych."



This was what I looked like on Monday. Tuesday I went to the doctor and he set my mind at ease so much more than it was. He says that I will have more motion that what I have built up in my mind and that I will recover more speedily than what I have been thinking. I'm excited... truly excited.

I had a good run this morning, and though I am sad that it will be my last for a while, I was grateful for the fact that I will always be able to get back into running... it gives me something to strive for and look forward to for sure.

Today I have a follow up maternity shoot, I can't wait! I will try to blog that tomorrow. Although, tomorrow is a FULL day! I have a pedicure (I can't wait, it's been ages since I have had a good pedicure!) at 9 am, then I am headed to Anthro to finish up some paperwork. I have to make a stop by Whole Foods and get my vitamins.. tomorrow could be emotional for me, I'm just not ready to leave Austin, even though it's not for long it feels like a long time.

As for this punchy song, it's "Kids" by MGMT. I just love the music, have no clue what it's about. LOL

Thank you all again for sending me off on this medical adventure with prayers and well wishes!



PS ~ Win a quilt from Lizzy Anne!!

a soundtrack to pack

So a really good friend told me about this song "Halo" the other day. I didn't hear it right away but when I finally did I was blown away... it's gorgeous and the lyrics so poignant. Beyonce has such a beautiful voice, I think she could sing the alphabet and it would be amazing, but this song really grabs me.

On my agenda today... a run as SOON as the girls are off to school. Shower. Run some errands. Packing, with the help of a friend and Beyonce's lovely voice. A farewell time later with a bff. Then sleep comes early because tomorrow it's Houston or bust for my first round of pre-op appointments. This week is filling up so fast, I can't believe it. I will try to keep updates flowing...

Thanks again for all the love and positive comments that you have all sent my way!!! You guys are incredible, really uplifting to read what you have been so kind as to share with me. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!

speculations

This is the hardest post I've ever composed. Not because I don't know what to say, but because I am posting the most private and scariest of pictures ever... I don't even know if I will go through with this, I'm shaking as I type it.

There have been several kind words offered about my upcoming surgery, as well as a lot of guesses about what I am having done. I just want to share with you all what is really going on and what I am about to embark on.

When I was eleven I began to have back pain every day. I thought it was my mattress or maybe growing pains. When I was almost 14, my best friend discovered that my spine was not straight while giving me a back rub one day. A chiropractor confirmed this with x-ray and began daily treatments to help me with the pain. After a few months he gave up. My back was too advanced for him to help me long term.

I was advised that I needed surgery to correct my scoliosis. Then I learned something that would change my entire life, I was pregnant. At 16 I was not able to have surgery and yes, stubborn me, I refused to wear any type of brace only to buy myself more time... the brace they informed me would not straighten my back, but just keep it from getting any worse. I didn't want to waste my youth in a brace and I don't regret that decision a bit.

After two more beautiful girls, my back reached an all time high in the pain department. I went to see a specialist in Houston. This doctor let me know that I should have surgery as soon as possible, while I am young enough to help speed my recovery. So two years later, I am facing my surgery. A week from Friday, I will have back surgery to straighten my spine and improve my quality of life by taking away my daily pain and limited wardrobe choices (that's a small personal excitement for me...gotta look for ANY bright side).

So I've written this much, the hard part comes now with me showing you all the part I hate most about my body. I don't show my back, and for the reason that I think it evokes fear in others and I'm extremely self conscious about it. I will post after shots sometime during recovery. You will still be hearing from me, I will have about 2 months off from work where I have to take it very easy. During that time I will be moving out of our current house, not sure where to just yet, but it will still be in the Austin area, hopefully closer to my Anthro.



Wow, I can't believe I found the nerve to share all this. I appreciate all the kindness you readers continually extend to me, it means more to me than I will ever be able to communicate back to you, but I truly hope you know at least a little bit of how much I treasure each comment and email that I receive, it lifts my mood so much!!

A few details about all this: The date of my surgery is May 15th. I will spend about 4 to 7 days in the hospital, then I will recover at my parents house for a few more weeks. After that I will be moving back home to Austin, but I do not have a place yet, so there is some worry there about that... just a lot of "un-known" that I am trying to not worry about right now. I'm also scared about getting back into good physical shape after this, so if anyone has some resources that they can share about that, I would LOVE to read up!!!

Thanks so much for reading all this and for accepting my whiny post without judgement.

my yearly chop

So I get the itch about once a year (that's not true, it's more often) to CHOP my hair off. I have been trying to grow it long for about 7 years now, but I just always want to change it because I love change. Anyway, about once I year I do chop or drastically change my hair without cutting the length. Usually I change the color or get bangs. Since I have been very happy to keep my hair dark like my natural color, I chose today to do the bang-thing.



That's me, a little closer than I would like, but I am using a portrait lens so that is just what has to happen, my arms only reach so far you know. ;o)

I think with my new bangs I look exactly like my mother. I like getting bangs because even though I prefer my hair totally loose and kind of hippie parted down the middle... this gives me the look I like when I wear a ponytail, which is a little windblown and childlike.


Playing an oldie but goodie for my music musing. Dave Matthews (who will be here in October and I would LOVE to see at ACL) huge hit from the late 90's, "Satellite." I remember the first time I heard this, I was riding in a black Camero or Firebird driving through the Hill Country of Texas with one of my oldest friends on our way to Baskin Robin... Oh the memories from trips to Waltonia Lodges!