Sunday, December 14, 2008

nothing to show, just a lot to say


Many things have been said lately that have brought me to the point of laughter... the real "LOL." It seems now that I have a stockpile to share with you all, so hang in there with me as I give my best at recreating these moments so that you also might get a chuckle out of the things people have been saying to or around me.

Evelyn and Santa, two fun stories:

Enter Santa...

Santa" Hohoho, Merry Christmas boys and girls"

Evelyn: "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm tellin' you why...." *singing*

Later, on Santa's lap....

Santa: "What do you want for Christmas Evelyn?"

Evelyn: "A bag."

Santa: "What sort of a bag?"

Evelyn: "That bag" *pointing to his huge velvet satchel.

Advice to me:

Background info~ I was wearing some high heel saddle shoe oxfords the other day with tights... and yes, they are very tall heels, but worth the discomfort they cause by the end of the day.

Stranger (talking to me): " I admire that you can wear such fun shoes. After dancing and yoga, I just don't have enough fatty tissue on my feet to be able to wear those kinds of shoes anymore."

Me (stunned and wanting to laugh): "Oh thank you, they aren't the most comfortable, but I can manage since they have a wide heel to help me balance."

Stranger: "Well if you would do this balance pose from yoga (proceeds to demonstrate the pose for me) and hold it for a few seconds everyday, you will strengthen your weak ankles in a short time."

Me: "Thanks."

Wow, insulted twice in one chance encounter. Ouch. I am grateful though, because I have laughed about this so much, it was truly the funniest thing I've had happen to me in a long time.... seriously?!.... "fatty tissue?!?!" It was classic.

Avery on smoking:

Avery: "Does anyone in our family smoke Mama?"

Me: "Well, I know Aunt Lisa smokes a lot of drugs."

Avery: "Oh Mama... *long pause and quizzical expression*

Me: *un-repressed smile*

Avery: "... really?....

Me: "No, not that many."

Avery: "Oh Mama, you're so silly."

I might be damaging my kids. :o)

Masyn at Christmas party on caring for clothes:

Masyn: *runs up to me and announces dramatically* "Mama, someone just sat on my skirt! I don't think it tore, but I just wanted to let you know!"

Me: *taking off Masyn's sweater and finding a blob of chocolate* "Masyn, you got chocolate on your sweater."

Masyn: "Oh, it's okay."



Britt said...

Oh my goodness, those stories are too funny! I especially love the lady insulting your feet and your ankles! Wow, people have no sense of tact anymore!! A couple of weeks ago on my last day of a particular class I was wearing my hair down and it is ringlet curly. My professor looked at me and said "Oh, I've been meaning to tell you today that you look like a mermaid." What?!?! I'm still laughing about that one! :)

Megan said...

LOL!!! literally!

Fatty tissue! P - LEASE!!!

I want to see the shoes! :)

Rachael Wilkins said...

Love the one about Evelyn and Santa's bag. Too cute!

And fatty tissue? Do people have NO idea of how what comes out of their mouth actually sounds?

That is hilarious!

Blissful Nikki said...

ok, well if you have any "fatty" anything on you, then Im just going to give up right now! LOL

But, the shoes you had on Sunday...
Im dying over them! :)

Lisa said...

Glad to read that no one is concerned over the loss of Aunt Lisa's did I get dragged into that conversation anyway? Why not use Uncle Lance or Gam, who are much more unlikely specimens for your story? ;oP