{ fire on the trail } ~ austin area fashion photographer

More pictures from my commercial work. This is Cassidy, a stunning young lady who is coming up huge in the modeling scene in Austin, TX. She was styled by my favorite stylist in the world, Alisha who works out of the salon Mirror|Mirror.

{ blue maven } ~ austin area fashion photographer

As promised I am going to share some of the commercial photography that has been keeping me away from posting more personal photos, well not just from posting but from even taking them. I'm terribly behind on shooting anything in my own life. I'd sort of like to clone myself so that I could shoot my own pictures with my girls, I'm supremely ridiculous, but I know exactly what I want to capture and I just can't make it happen with the timer on my camera.

So that whining out of the way, here are some pictures that I took for my hair stylist Alisha, who practices her amazing art at Mirror|Mirror in Austin, TX. Alisha is such a talented artist for hair, make-up, and photography and just about the most genuinely sweet person I have ever met, I love her. The model in the photos is another beautiful girl inside and out that I was lucky to work with named Blue. Blue has that timeless beauty that sets her apart from other pretty faces as stunning. Even her out takes were lovely. She was such a trooper, we shot these in 100+ degree weather and she smiled the whole time while I bossed her around and made her move in uncomfortable positions and places. I am so honored to have had part in this session. Enjoy the show...

{ ameliorating dates } ~ austin area photographer

I've been dying to use the word "ameliorate" in a title, it is my favorite word of all time because of the meaning and the obvious fact that it is my name. You're welcome for that splendid addition to your vocabulary if you were formerly unaware of this fun appellation.

I want to thank you all for the generous response to my previous post about dating. I had no idea I had so many readers who were single or dating, thanks guys I appreciate the love. So from urging via emails and one brave comment, I have decided that I will post a compilation of date ideas that I feel surpass the normal "dinner and drinks" idea that most men rely on when asking a woman out.

Let me interject my own post to say that this is all based on my brief and very biased experience in the dating world. You can send hate mail and leave mean comments if that makes you feel better, I can take it and understand that each person has their own views. The ones written here are mine because well, it is my blog, that being said I do keep an open mind and that is why I have had the experiences that I base all this from.

Let's get started with some ideas shall we...

1. Live music.
I am a big fan of this date idea. Most people enjoy music so that is a plus, but also it takes all the pressure of conversation away. You can see a glimpse of the taste of who you are inviting or the one inviting you. If you both have a good time and like the show you have automatic common ground. The energy of a live show is typically upbeat and a positive environment.

2. Sporting events.
Yes I do realize that some girls will argue that sports are boring, for me I think going to game is a marvelous idea. Baseball, basketball, hockey, golf (weather permitting), races, ect. All of these give you a chance to get excited and root for a team or player, even if you have a rivalry it's charged with energy and competition. There can be post game celebrations if all goes well, however I think it's a great way to get to know someone without having that terrible grilling process that makes me want to shave my own eyebrows. You can both watch and comment and not have to stare into each other's faces trying hard to think of something clever to say.

3. Games.
Personally this is a favorite of mine. Maybe I am keen to this idea because I grew up loving games and still feel like a big kid, whatever the case it's a very lighthearted time to be had and generates easygoing conversation and laughter. If you don't have somewhere to play or you don't own games there are lots of places that have games inside. In Austin there are even bars with shuffleboard or giant Jenga, it's amazing.

4. Something active.
Go rock climbing, play a round of mini golf or regular golf, go running, rent bikes and go for a ride, go hiking, take a yoga class, just get physical. Endorphins will promote happiness which is good, but you will also be learning what it's like to incorporate that into a friendship or relationship, if she/he isn't down with getting out and sweating a little, do you really want that person?

5. Go to the water.
Lake, beach, or river, just get out in the sunshine and relax. I realize this is a season sensitive idea, so if it's cold, refer to another option on the list.

6. Do something embarrassing.
Karaoke, bowling, a comedy show. You know those things that are kind of outside your comfort zone, I think those are brilliant. Honestly if you can shake off the nerves and have fun then you move up a notch in my book. I know you might wonder why I lump bowling in with this idea but if you have witnessed my bowling you would understand.

7. Movies/plays.
Yes it's an old fashioned and totally bland idea, yet to me a movie is still a very logical first date route to take. This frees you from having to venture into the awkward, you basically let actors and actresses do all the work. You can mix it up if you live by a cool theatre that does fun stuff like quote-alongs or maybe a drive-in or outdoor theatre in a park, those would be interesting and fun as well. Live theatre is always preferable to me because I am a huge fan of plays, you may be surprised to learn that I'm a geek tried and true and love musicals and amateur theatre.

8. Cook.
You can take a class or just have fun at your own place. It can be a date where you include others and come together for potluck. You can shop together for the ingredients and use the shopping list like a scavenger hunt and split it down the middle and race. There are so many ways to get creative with this idea. Genuine conversation can be sparked so it's not the typical dinner where you just wait at a table to be served and stare at each other. I would even hope for a food fight, but again I am certain I am not the norm.

9. Go support a local event.
There are always art shows, museums, cocktail parties, and many other events going on locally all over the place. Get connected with sources where you can learn about these and plan dates around those events. Economical and supports your community, win win.

10. Go wine tasting.
Be careful with this one, you don't want to get sloshed, but getting out and learning more about wine is so interesting and the atmosphere in the wineries is usually very romantic and alluring. I am a fan, although I have only ever been by myself I do think it would make an excellent date. Lots of local markets such as WholeFoods offer wine tasting if you don't happen to live near a winery.

It's getting late and I do have to wake up and try to look bright eyed at work tomorrow, so I will stop at 10. I hope that you are each inspired to be more imaginative when planning your dates whether they be with someone new or your significant other. Have fun and never take moments for granted. Do not get into the dinner and drinks rut, if you go out to eat try new places and make it an adventure.

Again I want to admit that these ideas might not be welcomed by all women or men you might meet, but my hope is that you see that being creative is a plus and though I'm not like most girls...I think that truly many of the girls I know would highly approve of this list. Let the tomatoes fly.

Click here to view my side project and I am sorry if you stumble onto someone who you relate to in my dating post.

{ a sardonic list without illustration } ~ austin area blogger

I know you all dislike posts without photos, however I have been shooting mainly commercial as of late and will share another time. I have been really swamped with work and events this month, but I really miss blogging so here is a little post that has been swimming around my wild thought life all morning.

It is my personal opinion that dates are stupid. I actually hate them. It feels to me like a painful job interview where someone is sizing me up to see if I am good enough and I have this minor feeling of guilt because I know for sure I'm not attracted to them as much as I require and I will probably never want to see them again. Actually, I always regret even saying "yes" to go on a date, there have been maybe 2 exceptions. So I've compiled a top 10 list of why (in my opinion) dating is for the birds...

*Disclaimer: If I were in a committed relationship these would not apply to the typical "date night" this is all in reference to the awkward "first date."

1. It's never convenient. It takes a whole big chunk of time out of my regularly scheduled life and for someone I will most likely never want to see again, that's asking a lot.

2. Conversation is forced. In time relationships develop and you get to know someone better and that's cool, but on a date there is that awful rapid fire question scenario that is literally the easiest way to kill any attraction that might have been felt. Truly, if you want to get to know someone, let it unfold naturally and organically.

3. Calories. I don't want to go out to eat that much, come on and suggest a good date like an outdoor activity or live music. I can literally make a post of BETTER DATE IDEAS that would be twice the length of this one.

4. Guys try too hard. It's not impressive, at all.

5. Dates are never funny. I need more laughter and I could probably be stupid at home and laugh more in one hour than I have collectively on every date I have been on in the last year (which really isn't a staggering number of dates, but truly guys...get a sense of humor).

6. A waste of money. Guys, you know you have thought that at some point in time.

7. The awkward silence. I won't say more about that.

8. The attempt of PDA. Ew, truly I would have let you know if I wanted anything physical AT ALL. I don't like people in my space unless I invite them close and I'm very affectionate, so can you imagine the girls who aren't?! They are probably repulsed when you go in for a kiss or hug.

9. Rejection. Given or taken it just isn't fun and can be avoided by not pushing someone into alone time right off the bat, just ease into something and get to know who they are from a little distance, if you mutually can't keep the distance...then have fun and keep it light. There are way too many 5 minute relationship status changes on Facebook already.

10. Ultimately, I need to be swept off my feet and dates are just too pre-meditated for my romantic imagination.

{ summer epilogue } ~ austin area child photographer

The hot days here in Texas where temperatures reach 106 degrees regularly are my favorite. My body responds to the warmth and somehow I am reminded that I am alive and I feel it in my skin. I want to pause the seasons here for a while.

The girls went school supply shopping this week, it's basically right around the corner. My days of having these fun little ladies around all day are numbered and I am not yet ready to send them back to school for more than half the day. It's so bittersweet, because they too love summer but are anxious for their new school year, each moving into a big new place in their education.

Avery will be in the 7th grade. She loved 6th and embraced theatre arts and drama. This year she will be able to participate in even more because she will be joining as a veteran thespian.



Masyn is headed into the 2nd grade. She is reading and practicing her math skills, I have no doubt she will do well this year, I can see her changing all the time and becoming more gentle and aware of those around her, I think she will make a lot of new friends. Her attention to detail surpasses any I have witnessed and I believe that will aid in her school work.




Evelyn is 5 years old and will have her first year of official schooling this fall, she begins Kindergarden. I am fairly sure that all she is concerned about is her social standing in the class and I don't foresee any problems there except perhaps with her teachers if she gets too distracted from the work. She is a little chatty bug and always having fun, the more structured class that she will be going into might be a very good challenge for her. Hopefully she will learn the perfect balance of school work, talk, play, and rest.



While we still have these hot sunshine days I want to play in the pool, lay around watching movies, and squeeze in as many full days with my bebes as possible. I love summer.

{ heart full of ramble } ~ austin area photographer

Truly just have so much on my mind right now and finding it hard to know what to share, if I should share, and really what's worth letting rest on my mind. June was a strange month with many smiles, tears, and emotions. I want to celebrate the good.

These two little ladies really helped me get through a whole 5 weeks without their big sister. We all missed her and were ready for her to return from camp, but we also are learning to see June as our month for adventures. As previously posted we do a lot of childish things that make my heart so happy.



June also brought with it a spirit of romance. I love these carvings on the tree branch where we hike because it reminds me that we are all part of a giant love story. Though my story is at a pause it has sparked an interest for me to observe and begin a writing project about relationships. I guess you could say that I've really connected to the old saying "those who can't do, teach."



I love that Masyn will hang from branches and isn't scared of much. Her trust in nature and confidence in her own strength is exciting. This picture makes me smile.



While yard sale shopping a while back I finally found something I have been hunting down for many years. I found an old fashioned card game, specifically Old Maid. My Me-Maw had a set of Old Maid cards when I was little and it was my sister and my favorite game to play with her. She would laugh so hard and make us laugh as well. The characters were retro and cool and I have never found anything that came close to being as cool. When I stumbled onto this set I was SO excited. We have been playing it a ton and my girls love it as much as I remember loving it at my grandma's house. We play almost daily.







Now to wrap up, just a couple pretty pictures of these girls I am so lucky to have in my life. When I capture them in photos I often just sit and muse over how stunning and full of personality they are. Do other parents all feel the same thing about their kids? They amaze me each day, even when they are out of control wild. They are the reason my heart knows how to love so much.





Just as a closing note, I want to say how much I miss my friends who are moving away or who I have moved away from. Cherish all the little pieces of time you have to hug your friends and hang out because when they are gone and you have only a phone or keyboard to connect, there is a spot where they should be and it hurts a little. To a special four ladies who may or may not read this, I miss you so much.

{ june's triumvirate } ~ austin area photographer

It's our second summer without Avery. She is away at her 5 week camp having a grand time. We miss her, but we certainly take advantage of our time to run a little extra wild and have adventures all our own.

We have been good about sleeping in a little, but not too late. It's nice to get up and make breakfast for the littles and have some coffee, then I force myself to work out and let the girls play or argue or whatever they feel like doing while I jam out on the treadmill for a couple miles. Typically they have been fighting over Avery's iPod which she wasn't allowed to take to camp. Finally we've worked out a time agreement, they take 30 minute turns. Here is little Evelyn playing some very intense game during one of her half hours....



Super serious.





My doober-doo is getting so smart and growing up so fast. I truly wish I could freeze time and just enjoy her this way for a long time, I'm not sure that I am ready to lose these days.




I have been much better about taking pictures of our outings and even just our time inside lounging around. These moments where we can run wild at the pool, go hiking, sit and share treats at coffee shops, treasure hunt in vintage stores, and visit with friends are something I love. Summer is most assuredly my favorite time of year. I kind of just wish we could live like vagabonds and travel the U.S. on smiles and winks.

Here are some pictures of what "rest time" can turn into at my house. ;)











Much more to share but once again limited on time. I swear that I will get internet at home again, this having to drive places is ridiculously inconvenient.

{ vague + vivid } ~ austin area photographer

Always around this time of year I think about Waltonia. Waltonia was the place of my youth where I felt 100% myself even as a child. It was the trip my family took each summer and my favorite place in the whole world. I drove through it last summer when I dropped Avery for camp, that was my first time back in 11 years. I hope I can open the door for my girls to build memories like my family did for me.

So I leave you with this little rant that I typed up this morning while I was reminiscing about my summers in Kerrville. My littles and I are headed out to hike and enjoy a scalding day in Austin. A lot of silliness is about to go down.




The Vague and the Vivid--

I have so many early memories, snapshots that are bright and poignant but fleeting, they have no background or dialog I can link. These flashes have emotion, I can connect them with a positive or negative feeling. I remember eating Ramen Noodles off the sidewalk in front of my house when I was about 2 or 3, the uncooked kind. I can’t say for sure, but I think my sisters and I snuck a few packages outside and they ran off with the little flavor packets and I remained right out front in full view just eating the little square of crunchy noodles and I was happy. In full contrast to that good but gross memory I also have the distinct picture of being cornered in our backyard while my oldest sister towered over me with a lizard in her fingers (taking a break here to go vomit) and threatening to put it on me. A deeply traumatic memory which I blame as the very beginning of my lizard phobia, I will find out the proper name for that soon. A negative moment in my past no question.

The most prominent memories that I have center around Waltonia. The only real vacation spot I was ever taken to growing up and the highlight of each year for me until the age 17. Waltonia is a camp site that when I was younger had 15 or 16 rustic cabins. My family stayed in #12 until I was 16. We spent one week as a family floating the Guadalupe River, taking walks, playing games, napping, and more. Typically we’d start out with a breakfast of cereal and then run around or swing until the grown ups were ready to take out down to the river. We’d suit up, grab an inner-tube and hike down to the waterfront. It would take us a while to build the courage to jump in the cold water, but once we were in the games were on and we’d splash around for hours at a time, when I say “hours” I mean like 4 hours of just being in the water. Literally sundrenched we would return to our cabin and make a quick lunch, somehow I link it with bologna and mayonnaise that actually tasted incredible to me back then, I am convinced that swimming makes all food taste better. Even though I balked about it each day, a luxurious nap would follow. I’d sleep for at least 3 hours, heaven to me and to my parents I am sure! When I got older nap time was reading time, which could last even longer than 3 hours, I adored just laying next to an open window and smelling the trees while I got lost in a Baby Sitters Club or Sweet Valley High book. From the moment I woke up or found a chapter to hold my place it was beg-time. My sister Rebecca and I would plead to go back to the water. We had friends in other cabins and we’d go make plans with them too and beg their parents. Finally one of the adults would cave in and take us back out to swim. Another round in the water, often it would be a trip to the low water bridge, a section next to the entrance of the camp ground where the road cut through the river and the water rushed under it at a dangerous speed. We would make up stories about all the possible drownings it had caused and scream if we got near it. Eventually they crafted a grate over it, making it seem far less exciting to play around. On Wednesday the schedule was rearranged for a special trip into town, the nearest town was Kerrville, TX. Our family and several others staying out at Waltonia would go eat Mexican food at Mamacitas. All of us kids would sit at one end and then the teens were close, they’d make us laugh and I remember wanting to be just like my sisters and my friend Tiffany’s brother, they were the cool ones to me. Even as a kid I felt drawn to certain people. Thursday night was another special night for our little camp community. Again it involved town. In Kerrville there is an outdoor theatre called the Pointe Theatre. They would run a few shows each summer so we would buy tickets to the Thursday night performance each year no matter what it was. Some were well known and some were things I’d never heard of, but I developed a love for the stage and appreciation for amateur acting that I credit to those talented people at the Pointe Theatre. Even when packing for the trip we would plan a special outfit for “play night.” As little kids it meant putting on a dress instead of ratty shorts and tee shirts, but as I grew up it evolved to full on hot rolling of the hair, painting my nails, and putting make-up on. Fashion was something innate for me, I enjoyed the dressing up almost as much as the actual play. Friday was a bittersweet day, all our normal activities were present, we played a little longer in the water, finished eating all the treats we had purchased for the trip, made special trips to some little rapids, and most importantly we planned our annual night time walk past the haunted cabins of the old Waltonia campgrounds to the Ingrim Cemetery. The teenagers did most of the planning and haunting, I remember the first year I crossed the line from walking to scaring (truly, I was still scared myself). There were flashlights, water balloons, silly string, shaving cream, spooky noises, and oddly potato chip bags. It was thrilling to have the older kids try to spook us, they would make up stories all during the week building up to the big walk. Each year they would do one big scary thing, my favorite was they year they faked a car running over one of the guys and smeared his shirt with oil in the print of a tire, then he popped up and chased us. Brilliant sound and visual effects to a 6 year old, I was wowed. After we got back to the camp, we would jump in the river in our clothes for a night swim, I still love this. Saturday was such a hard day for me, we would pack up and leave by lunchtime, every year I cried a little. The drive home was always faster than the drive there and I would finish whatever book I was in the middle of and once home I would begin counting the days until the next summer....

Waltonia might very well be my favorite part of my childhood.

{ bumbling chapter } ~ austin area photographer

I tried this last week and I quickly realized I hadn't really evaluated all the content and given accurate credit where it was due. I had delivered a very biased and almost hostile view of portions of my upbringing.

The following is a roughly drafted excerpt from the memoirs I have long been working on and sadly haven't made much ground until recently. I have been writing more and more as of late, however it's difficult to post because I have no internet connection at my apartment, so I have to pack up the laptop and visit a wifi sharing facility in order to connect to the outside world.

All your patience and encouragement for me to write has prompted me to share this. Please let me know if you think it's worth pursuing.



Memoirs.

My story is divided. There are many parts that make up this Amelia. My life could have been very normal and I might have turned out exactly the same, but it wasn’t, it took a lot to make me this way.

From the beginning my life was unusual in some regard. I was the last of 6 kids, two of which were adopted. My sister’s who were adopted have always felt as close and even closer in many ways than my natural born sisters and my brother. For example of my siblings only the two which aren’t blood related to me are the only ones still trying to be somewhat involved in my life after divorce. Lyndsey, being 6 years older than me and looking nothing like me whatsoever, is my closest friend in all my family. She and I somehow understand each other. I have considered the possibility that I was also adopted or found somewhere, but my height and hairline link me too closely with my father and my thighs and ass prove I was born from my mom’s bloodline.

I do feel fortunate to have grown up in a large family. There are many perks to having a lot of siblings. One thing positive is the level of distraction that they can offer. Many times I escaped certain strangling because one of my sisters had done something seemingly worse than I had or at least more attention getting than myself and I was able to fly under the radar. The drawback to that being that I often view my parent’s affection and doting as having been used up by the time I came to the world. Looking back and seeing the difference in involvement in my life versus my older sisters and my brother, there isn’t even a comparison. They had far too much going on in life by the time I came around. My dad was a farmer and was required to be out checking fields and taking care of the land through all the daylight hours and into the evening as well. My mom has always been the most entrepreneurial person I’ve known, I thought she was Superwoman. She owned several businesses and stayed busy helping others. Because of my parents devout work ethic my sisters provided most of the childcare in our house. I felt a bit as if I was raised by my sisters, most specifically my two oldest sisters. As a child I would watch movies in their laps and listen to them talk on the phone, gossip with their friends, truly I felt older just by being around them. Even though I was born in the early 80’s, I often feel as though I lived my teen years through the 80’s just because I spent so much time immersed in pop culture by clinging to my teenage sisters.

More than once I have pondered how on earth my mom took care of 6 kids and now that I am older and able to really evaluate my childhood, I see that she kind of let us raise ourselves and become self sufficient. I don’t remember her even being home much because she owned her own businesses and was really involved with multiple projects. Still, the financial aspect boggles me, I can hardly afford 3 kids, wait I can’t even afford 3 kids. There were luxuries that I absolutely had to forego, like classes of any sort. I remember wanting to be sent to modeling school like my older sisters had been, but not being able to go. College would have been great too, but my parents felt like my teenage pregnancy deserved eternal punishment and considered paying for Avery’s birth as my choosing healthcare through childbirth over a college tuition. I needed their help and they gave it to me as they saw fit, which was to pay for some necessities and then let me struggle to experience the life I “chose” by having sex at 16. I owe my drive and self motivation to my parents, at 17 I learned what it’s like to have to earn a paycheck and I have been working hard ever since. I don’t know what it’s like to relax and plan vacations, I don’t even remember what vacation is.

Even though I sound bitter (it’s because I am a little), honestly I am still working through some of that, I have cherished memories from my childhood. My recollection of youth starts very early because I had a traumatic overdose experience when I was about 18 months old, which I remember with vivid detail. I was supposed to be napping when I snuck into my mom’s bathroom and opened her Synthroid which she took to medicate her under active thyroid. I believe she had that particular container for about a week or so and it contained 90 pills or close. So when I opened the childproof bottle and ate the remaining tablets, I probably ingested close to 80. My mom found me well before any reaction occurred and she drove me to the ER. Once there they began to give me “syrup” which I begged for more of. It was Ipecac which is used to induce vomiting. It worked really well on my 18 month old system, I began to regurgitate tiny pink pills over and over into a mustard yellow plastic container. After a struggle, I was given an IV to rehydrate my little body and placed in a crib to sleep. My mom sat in a rocking chair and the room was dark. As I let myself truly remember and put myself back in that crib, I can sense her worry, I believe she thought she might lose me, it’s one of the only times I can remember actually feeling her love me. It’s weird to say that when I almost died is one of my best memories, but that moment when I felt true concern from my mother is something I will never let go of, it makes me feel better about the rest of my life. Like when Elinor Daswood tells her sister Marianne “whatever his past actions, whatever his present course, at least you may be certain that he loved you.”

My dad has always needed a great deal of affection and because of that he is a master at doling it out. From as far back as I can recall my father has been enamored with my mother, at least he always appeared to be and that president was set. He touched her and complimented her all the time and would tell us kids what a special lady she was. He would tell all of us kids how much he loved us and would openly hug and kiss us. Still to this day he leaves me the kindest voicemail messages just to let me know that at least one of my two parents cares for me even though they both heartily disagree with my life choices (meaning my divorce). I also have a twinge of sadness when I think about how my mom would always shrug him off or even push him away. I know that my season of distance is linked to my idolization of my mother and I was just acting how I saw her act and believing what she spoke about him. I regret those teen years when I wouldn’t accept his hugs. I’m trying to make up for it and learn from it, he is my best example of how affection should be freely given and the quota for loving words can never be met.

{ telephonically speaking } ~ austin area photographer

I'm without Internet momentarily....dont forget me.

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Xo~ Amelia