{ farcical + surrender } yogi. witness. austin tx

So often I have said things like "I am letting go," or "I release...", even "I surrender." All of these sound so very passive, but today I realized that there may be times when "letting go" is passive, but there are other times when it's a violent and strenuous work of removal.

Maybe making space sounds lovely and peaceful, but think of the weed that is forcefully yanked from the soil where it has grown roots and happily soaked in nutrients. Space has to be made for the gardener to plant what he/she truly intends to grow in his/her garden. Consider the sweat that must pour out for weight loss, the photos burned for lovers to force memories to fade, friends left miles apart when jobs require moving, or watching a child fall over and over as they learn to walk without help, all of these are moments of release.

Not even slightly surprising, I find the answer to current struggles on my yoga mat. I will use Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (Pigeon Pose) as my example. This pose is so often viewed as a resting posture, the "break" in the middle of an active flow, or the asana leading to our final savasana. I have found myself thinking "oh yes, pigeon, I've made it!" When practiced actively for a deep "release" of the hips, this requires focused breath and a conscious choice to surrender all that surfaces as the hip joints open and emotions that are stored inside begin to unfurl. When fully encompassed, this pose often brings tears and is not a gentle "release" at all, rather it is an aggressive purging of all that is no longer serving our body, mind, and heart. When we twist, activate our muscles, and send thoughtful breath that acknowledges "it's okay to fight this letting go, but it has to come out...so inhale- wrestle with pain and exhale- send it away with strength" then this pose becomes transformative.



With life issues I find much the same, it hurts, I don't want to open my heart's grip on things I have long been clinging to, but as I close my eyes and breath in and out, Divine love replaces the areas where ripping and tearing out have left me empty. Just like my Pigeon experience, I find new space, new depth, and sometimes soreness lingers for days.

{ book confession } yogi. student. mother. austin, tx

Tonight I was confronted with the fact that I might have a problem with books. After going to an amazing show, I got home a little earlier than planned so I decided to indulge in reading! My dilemma was that even after packing a few boxes of books in preparation for my upcoming move...I still could not decide what to read before bed, I want to read them ALL!!

Confession: My name is Amelia, and I am a book-aholic. I might have to begin goaling myself to read certain ones or set some kind of challenge that will help me decide what to read and when, I think I am facing paralysis of choice tonight. Perhaps I can make a "wheel-o-books" and spin to find what I should read. I will figure out some way to narrow it down and read for a bit before my eyelids become too heavy, and whatever I come up with I will let you all know. Until then, if you need any book recommendations, ask away, I have a lengthy list to share.

Light, love, and calm dear ones!

{ dream + arrows } yogini, believer, esoteric soul, austin tx

I have a tattoo on the back of my left arm of intersecting arrows. When I decided what I wanted I had no idea why, I just wanted arrows and I wanted them to look very Native American. Now I understand my attraction, it's this lovely Muse, Diana.



Her name stems from the word for light, and she is also a goddess of the sun and moon, the lights of heaven. - Julie Loar "Goddesses For Every Day."

I look at this picture and feel empowered, I see my tattoo (now I have another of a bow & arrow), anytime I see arrows, I recall that light and energy surround me and hold me surely as air holds a bird in the air...so long as that bird keeps her wings open (lovely illustration found in The War Of Art by Steven Pressfield).

Is this an esoteric post, of course, I'm an esoteric woman, but stay with me and you will find the connections. My life has been in massive transformation, I feel like for the last year, in fact it is exactly the year mark from when I accepted my calling to teach yoga and jumped out to meet the Universe. Since then many things have circled and swirled, looped and let go, and I find myself wondering how it's only been one year and where the time went so quickly.

September 21st I made the decision to move closer to my work and all my activities, a huge mark in my life as I have been scared to do this for about 2 solid years of wanting to. I found a place I love and was applied for my first apartment all alone and I got it! I move in two weeks, when I found out I screamed and jumped, I still squeal with excitement every few days.

Last week was the hardest, I'm actually not entirely ready to go into details but I am going to get my first new car today, I am also giving voice to my dream of teaching yoga and offering myself to a studio.

I read this on Friday and I knew it was meant for me at that exact moment because I have believed it in the past, but in this moment I am living it.

"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would not otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man would have dreamed would come his(her) way. I have learned deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it. Begin it now."" - Steven Pressfield "The War Of Art"

Even when things in my life seem to be falling apart, I want to remember...all that comes is coming to make space. Stay open my friends. Whether you call it God, the Universe, angels, ect....there is an energy that wants to co-create with you the greatest life ever, dream big and believe big, and do some yoga any chance you can!

{ sweat + free } yogini. austin, tx

Hey friends, if you missed free yoga last Sunday/Monday tomorrow is the perfect day to jump back in! I'm teaching a free all levels power vinyasa class at Luke's Locker in Austin. 5th/N. Lamar at 10am. Let's start the week with a lovely sweat.

{ sunday free yoga } yogini. austin, tx

Wanted to let you all know I am teaching this Sunday 10:00 am at Luke's Locker on 5th/Lamar in Austin. It's a free class for all levels. We will be focusing on core, legs, and smiles. I really love the playlist and sequence and I look forward to sharing with you and starting Sunday on our mats together. Peace and sweet dreams lovely souls.

{ paddle + myth } yogini. water baby. austin, tx

I've been paddle boarding a few times this summer. I was hooked after my first time out, which was a paddle board yoga class at 7:45am on a sunny Friday morning.... For those of you who might not be familiar with stand up paddle boarding, I will enlighten. You are sent off on your knees with one paddle on a board that is similar to a surf board. Once you are away from the dock you stand up and paddle around, kind of Huckleberry Finn style.


Photo credit: SUPATX, Austin, TX 2012

Today I went alone and paddled far, I wanted to paddle away all my stress and frustration. I began with the mission to paddle until I felt a change in myself and then I would practice some yoga. Truly I thought I would be paddling far, really far, before I sensed some relief. What actually happened was that I began to look down, I started to notice all the life and beauty just below my board. Maybe 10 minutes into my quest and I started to write...

I was floating above the thicket of the water world. Brushy wild flowers swimming and growing at the same time. A mesmerizing home for those who live below the surface of the water. Turtles ducked behind aquatic dandelions who hold wishes because they can't ever be blown away. Mermaids must surely be lounging in the cool of these magical pink and amber bristles. I didn't want to let me paddle touch the water and disturb this sacred place. I glanced up and all around me other's seemed unaware of the miracle that began 3 inches below the warm rippling water. I don't know how far I went, it felt like I was above them for a year, then it was gone. I looked for this place on my return, but they felt my awareness and vanished. I saw many of the turtles relocating, they winked at me and dove back to their hiding place of wonder, back to their moving world that I was momentarily allowed to see.

{ uniquely alike } yogini. writer. austin, tx

I saw this flower on my trip. This lonely, strange flower. She is kind of a daisy, only not quite because her heart is blue, she has secret pains that make her a special kind of lovely. She confuses those who come close enough and look long enough for her oddities to unfold. White petals make her seem pure, untouched and pristine. Where she lives tells a different story, this flower has known a life of struggle, to grow up and bloom through thicket and thorn must not have been a simple way to reach the sunlight she now soaks up. Still, she is there teasing the chain link fence which threatens to hold boundaries and she lends her beauty to amuse and cheer the traveler such as myself. We are alike this flower and I.




Mulholland Dr., Los Angeles, CA. 2012

{ mirroring. } yogini. witness. self student.

I'm writing today because I need to. Because I want to. Because if I don't write something today I feel like I might drop into silence for another few months. I am grateful for the people, books, and situations in my life that are making me a more loving person. Some days it is very difficult to accept that this is my work, that all friction and pain is for my benefit and growth. There are some days that I just want to cry, some days that I do, and some days that I just want someone stronger to give me a hug and say I'm doing a good job.

When I read the paragraph above I recognize the girl that is sharing, she is me. She is much younger, but still me. I am finally beginning to see and process the stories that I pushed away from my past. Funny how what hurt me when I was a child is still what hurts me today. Even though I should look back through the eyes of an adult, there are certain things that send me spiraling back into the past, to my daybed with the farm animal comforter where I see me curled up in tears. Things that scared me then I find at the root of what scares me today. What I know about that little girl is that she makes it, the very things that hurt that small version of me don't hold her back from living. In fact, every tear that falls is met with compassion from the Universe and from me.

{ the where and now } yogini. photographer. witness.

Last night I was exhausted, my first shift back to work after 6 days away on vacation. I arrived home thinking I would collapse into bed and sleep immediately, soundly. That did not happen. I readied myself for bed, taking extra care with washing my face and braiding my hair. Still waiting for the heaviness to visit my eyelids I began reading a blog of someone I am growing very close to. I was struck by the oddness of reading these stories and happenings that all came before we met, by the way our lives could be so far apart and eventually cross and even become parallel. Where had my life been during these times that I was reading about? Why could I not remember that I also had so much happening in 2009, 2010, 2011...? I realized a huge disconnect I have had from my past, even my recent past, because my focus has been so much engaged in things now and days ahead. I revisited my own blog and feel compelled to share what I gleaned from my trip through the randomness of my posts over the last few years.



Photo- Venice Beach, CA 2012 Amelia Raun

As I looked back at my stories, musings, photos, lessons, ect. I saw someone I admire. Why have I continued to struggle with so many of the same issues? Why have I not celebrated more of the triumphs that I have had? What has caused me to lose my written voice? So many things I began to wonder, so many aspects of myself that I began to mourn the loss of. New things have emerged that I am grateful for, so much change through my yoga training and relationships come and gone, I love where I am and where I am going, but I don't want change all that I have gone through to get here, I want to bring it into my present as strength. I recognize that I gave control to my fear of vulnerability and lost what I am most proud of about myself, my openness and willingness to be seen, loved or not.

It was a heavy and wonderful read, if you have your own blog or journal I encourage you to go back and see what reading it feels like for you. Today I am more me than I was yesterday and it feels so damn good.

{ post-nominal } - yogini. photographer. mother. austin, tx

In October of 2011 I had a revelation. Within a short time I drastically changed my direction. Investing time, money, and passion I set out to become a registered yoga instructor. On July 7th, 2012 I became Amelia Raun, RYT.

For my final project I wrote about chakra balancing with children and I had a photo shoot with my own girls to illustrate. I'll be candid and confess that the outtake photos are my favorites. I love these wild girls.




Articulating the changes that have taken place in my life through this experience is difficult. The other students in my training have all changed so much as well and yesterday one graduate and I were musing over that fact. My dharma now is to give back and to be a spark to inspire others to embark on their personal journey. It's scary, exciting, freeing, magnificent, and so vast. It is like waking up from a long nap and knowing an adventure is in store.