Wednesday, June 24, 2009

not so puerile anymore

I get asked fairly often "don't you have 3 girls?" I answer emphatically (and with a mental rolling of my eyes) "yes." The eye rolling is not due to the asking of the question, but merely to the fact that I have to be asked.... sometimes I find myself exasperated with my beautiful firstborn, because she is never present for picture taking! If I am lucky enough to hog tie her long enough to shoot some pictures, her pained expressions make me feel much too guilty to post them on here (not to mention the ropes that show in the background of how she is tied up).

I reduced myself to bribery. Unabashedly, I admit this to you all. I buttered her up with promises of the use of my fedora and a personal one-on-one photo shoot. Of course the weather was boiling and her typical look of torture surfaced quickly (there was apparently a very important Wii game she needed to go play), but I did manage to snag this picture.

{ tween }

More recently and to the point of this post, Avery (that's my oldest daughter for those of you who are still lost) mentioned the other day something about the "P" word. Yes, she was talking about something and I was buried deep in my Harry Potter book, when like screeching tires on a semi wet road my ears were assaulted with "oh you mean like puberty?"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!...went through my mind. She's ten, I'm not ready for this, not ready for her to be so grown and to know all this stuff. I'm still waiting for my own breasts to develop, I don't think I can manage telling her about hers.

Once they picked me up off the floor, (no that's a joke, if I fell it would be super bad right now as I am still healing from back surgery) I regained my composure and asked her if she knew what that...that...P word meant. She said "no, not really, just heard it on tv."


Thank you God! I was still going to have time to tell her myself.

So, as you all might have guessed by now, we are having "the talk" almost daily. We are embracing ideas about better hygiene, body image, healthy living, and reading a book together that helps us talk on her level where I have often been unable to express to her the importance of some of these issues (especially hygiene and eating...somehow she thinks books must be right so maybe Mama isn't that dumb after all since the book agrees with what I have been saying for the past couple years). I won't embarrass her by sharing the private questions and answers we have talked about, because she does read this from time to time, but to all you moms of girls in this precarious time of life, don't hesitate as I did... having these times together is SO helpful. It has opened the door for some communication between us that she wasn't sure how to put into words and I have been able to grasp a little more that she is in fact becoming a young woman and I have to let her try some things and that it's okay to guide her towards becoming a woman. I'm making it a point to help her find the fun in being a girl and wearing skirts, or make up, or how to do fun things with her hair.

She isn't grown up yet, but she's getting there and I want to be by her side the whole way.

{ tween }

Avery, this is a special note to you as you snoop around my blog:

I love you baby! I love singing to Taylor Swift with you. I love playing Fashion Party on the Wii. I love that you care about your sisters, even though sometimes they make you so mad you hit (I don't love that you hit sometimes). I love that you want to spend time with your silly mama. I love spending time with you. I love it when you talk to me. I love when we get to shop together. I love fixing your hair. I love looking at your baby pictures. I love swimming with you. I love getting to watch you grow up. I love how well you adjust to new places. I love walking in to see you sleeping with your glow worm. I love that God put you in my life!



Texicanic Mom said...

AAAHHH the ever present "P" word. LOL. And you said it best dont wait for her to ask you. Every mother should start basic introduction to development at least by 8 yrs old. My daughter, Rebekah who is now going to be 12, is already feeling like her Aunt flow is going to make her first visit. The doc said this year for sure she should get it. However she knows what to expect, I have told her my own stories of my experience and well, she is very strong in her standings about other things that I will mention on my own blog, because I dont want your daughter to read it but feel free to go and head to my blog to read further.

Just dont be afraid. Its the worst thing you can do for your be afraid of something so natural.


Vanessa said...

oh, she's so beautiful, amelia! it's wonderful that you both have this open line of communication. being the eldest must be kind of hard (the eldest of my three boys tells me so daily!) but i know she'll do an excellent job.
hugs to you and your lovely girls,

Jen said...

Amelia, I have to admit that I've been snooping around your blog for a while now but I just love your sentiment. What you just wrote to your little/big girl was so wonderful. She's a lucky girl to have such a wonderful Mama! Good work young lady!!! Smiles, JEN

carole said...

what a sweet post...
She is a beautiful girl with a very smart mum ;)I hope she snoops and gets to see your love notes at the end.

angie.a said...

You know one of the best books I bought for my girl when she was 10 and having questions about the big P was the American Girl body book. She still pulls it out and looks things up when she has a question! It was a wonderful opener too for the discussions we needed to have. She would read a little (especially when she might be feeling too shy to come to be directly) then she knew she could come to me for clarification. I can't recommend it enough.

amelia said...

Thank you ALL!!!

Angie~ That's the same book we have, it's great! Avery says that she feels like it is just on her level.

Priscilla I will have to hop over and see what you are talking about on your blog... there was much more I would like to share, but I feel like it would invade her personal space.

Kath said...

Beautiful girl, beautiful photographs, beautiful post. Your message to Avery at the end brought a tear to my eye!

nic said...

holy moleys she is a beauty. i mean, i already knew this, cause she looks so incredibly much like her mama, but there's something about the maturity beginning to refine her features that are changing her from adorable to stunning.

keep on keeping on, my friend. it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job raising an incredible girl.

nikkibrey said...

OMG!!!! I am balling my eyes out! That was the sweetest note ever at the bottom of your post. My girls are 5 and 3 soon to be 6 and 4 it just seems like we blink and they are teenagers. Best of luck with that...let me know how it goes!!!

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Oh mercy, I'm at this exact stage with my 9 yr old. Scary, isn't it?

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Oh, and I wanted to add - My daughter has her own email account. (I have access to it, of course.) She really only emails her nana and me, but some of the things she tells me via email are things she'd never say in person. It's been a wonderful and eye opening experience!

Plus she thinks it sounds cool to tell her friends, "I have to check my email." ;-)

Daria - Boutique Cafe said...

I think this is my all time favorite post from you. You are such a wonderful Mama, and your girls are so lucky to have you to guide them through.

Being a Mommy to boys is so different, but I've been lucky enough to have sons who will ask me questions and share their feelings with me. I treasure all of that communication!

I love seeing pics of Avery, she's so much like you. The sweet note you wrote her at the end made me teary.