{ appreciable lengths } ~ austin area photographer

Several years ago I had a hair catastrophe. Let me preface this by saying that I learned at the ripe age of 14 to NEVER use box hair color, ever, under any circumstance.

Okay back to my story. I was having my hair done by a local hair dresser and somehow our communication must have had a breakdown, because I asked him to help me get back to my natural color and fill my highlights. He filled my highlights, but my hair ended up tinted green and felt like mushy elastic thread.

Of course I am sort of brazen and I refused to leave with green hair, so I told him to cut it all off. Yes, I let him chop my hair to about a 2" all over boy cut.

I cried for 3 days without stopping and intermittently for months following (sometimes I still lament).

Since that time, I have not had a major haircut. That was about 9 years ago I believe, I stopped counting when I started to cry more. I have also not had major coloring and absolutely NO highlights. About October 2008 or so, I asked my stylist (a female in a different city!) to take me back to my natural color in a slow and healthy process. Through deep conditioning and tinted treatments, she helped the ends of my hair match my roots. My hair has been dark brown (even called black a few times) ever since that time with the exception of summer's sunshine adding some red and lightening it up a little, without the aid of coloring.

Today my need for change had me aching to call and make an appointment to cut it off, to just toss in the years of growing and mix it up. I've tried bangs, layers, ect....I just like change. My goal though, is to keep growing, I want long hair down my back and laying across my pillow. I know it's silly, but I just love how it feels, I mess with my hair all the time and I love when other (clean) people touch my hair...I have connections to my mane, I can't deny it. I took photos to see how long it has grown with the hope I would totally forget the impulse to chop off all the years of patience that it represents.

{ winsome teen } ~ austin area teen photographer

Not much to write today, I feel as though I have been living at the store the last few days. Here are some photos I took of my amazingly cool niece. She lives in another state and I was lucky enough to have her stay with me for a few days. I'm so grateful that I have relationship with my niece where we can talk for hours, laugh until our cheeks hurt, share musical preferences, sunbathe, visit tasty restaurants, and enjoy each other even if we were just sitting and painting our nails.

I have to give some serious credit to my fantastic sister Lyndsey! Lyn, you have done such a great job raising Kayla. She is one of the most interesting people I've met and knows how to be herself. You have given her a great foundation of confidence and assurance that you support her and love her and that you believe she can do anything she sets her mind to. I hope that I raise my girls in the same manner and that one day they can impact someone as Kayla has touched my life. I love you ladies!!!

xo, A

{ disciplined wont } ~ austin area photographer

After a week of of time off work, I am back. My routine resumed yesterday with an opening shift (which means leaving my house by 6:15 am). It was easier to get back into than I anticipated, however everything seemed a little foreign and overwhelming. I came home with an intense desire to sleep. Indeed that would have been nice, and probably even deserved, but I pushed myself to run and workout. I ended my routine with some planks and felt so accomplished that I decided to capture it for a flickr group I have just joined called 52 Weeks Of BAM!




Today I have been fighting the same urge to skip my physical exercise. I'm sad today, for a few reasons, but one thing I have learned for sure, is that if I choose to do the hard but healthy task of getting up and moving, I can surpass the blues and come out in a bright sunshiny mood. I'm going to run right now, and prepare myself for a fantastic day, even though I am still facing the same minor disappointments, I will know that I'm stronger and more fit for the challenges of life.

{circadian happenings} ~ austin area photographer

Each day brings something to cherish. Just take a close look at what goes on around on a daily basis and you will certainly see something worth holding onto in a memory book. The natural rhythm of life can become dull and monotonous if we don't make the effort to move to it and feel the beat in our core.

Just a few pictures of things that happen around my house that could be easily overlooked and forgotten, and sadly I have overlooked them in the past...but it's never too late to start storing away that's treasured times so I can recall them with my little ladies down the road or just when I need a pick-me-up.



Avery and her friend put make-up on Masyn and Evelyn. It's a little scary, kind of Cirque De Soleil looking. Masyn's in particular cracks me up because she's kind of sporting a "Toddler's & Tiaras" smile. Good times.



Love the choke hold, Evelyn has so many pictures where Masyn has her around the neck...poor kid.



Obviously she watches and learns from Masyn, because Evelyn does the exact some chokehold to BetteDavis.



The dog who lived.



I hope that you all had a fantastic 4th of July. Mine was one for my book, that's for sure, possibly a full chapter. For now the girls are climbing the walls and begging to go to the pool. Day starts...now!

{beatifically evy} ~ austin area child photographer

Today was a heavy chore day. My second full day of vacation time, second day in a row to be jolted from my sleep (which was supposed to be sleeping late...) at 6 AM. This morning it was Evelyn to wake me, not an employee. Evy, who I have missed in my bed and though it was early, it felt good to have her waking me with her whines for breakfast. Whining is her specialty, she comes by it naturally on her mother's side (though hopefully I have outgrown most of my whimpering and sullenness). I couldn't possibly not enjoy waking up to this face.....




Or this one....



Would you all believe I took this AFTER the giant 4.5 hour undertaking of cleaning their room?! The girls helped and were troopers all morning while I pulled everything out of their room, drawers, closets, everything was a wreck and I just wanted a clean slate. Today was a DEEP purging and purifying day in the room of my girls. The scariest moment was finding Avery's secret snack stash of open food under her bed. I literally had reflux for 30 minutes and kind of every time I think about it... *gag* You can see clearly under beds and dressers now, and the base boards are all cleaned. Masyn and Evelyn helped toss trash and put up books. It was a productive morning and they came out smiling! Well, it's maybe not quite a smile, but it's pretty darn happy and so stinkin' cute.






Tomorrow I go to retrieve big sister from camp! Avery might not recognize her bedroom when she gets home, or her sisters. I think Evelyn has changed just since the end of school. She seems so grown up lately.

My favorite little dialog from today:

Masyn - "Mama, want to know my favorite part about today?"

*because I frequently ask my girls what they liked most about the day

Me - "Of course I do, what was your favorite part?"

Masyn - "Cleaning our room and you finding my DS!!"

*The DS has been "lost" in the room for a loooong time.

Evelyn - "My favorite part about today was...NOTHING. Hmph."

Me - "Why is that Doo?"

Evelyn - "Because I can't find my Night-Night." (Night-Night = precious lovey toy)

Me - "Well come here, I can give you a favorite part of today, BIG hugs will be a good part!"

Evelyn - "Yes!!!!"

God I love these kids.



There is just something so special to me about this picture...not only the subject of course, it's the raw feel, like maybe I snuck back in time and took her picture with an old Polaroid. I'm for sure going to enlarge and frame this one.

{exploration} ~ austin area photographer

Have you ever entered a phase in life where you just float? Where nothing you do really seems to be on purpose, it is just the natural and easiest way to go? I don't agree with fighting nature, not by any means, but I personally believe that for me, I have to pursue my natural path in life with passion and determination.

Yet, I let myself drift recently. I just found a comfort zone that was great at first, but then became too lackadaisical and the positive energy was lost. After waking up to this fact I first decided to grab hold of life again and live it with meaning and chase after memories.

Yesterday someone told me that I should "do whatever I want to do!" and then posed the questions "what DO you really want to do?" Not up and move to New York, I'm talking about my life ambition and even career path for long term. He asked me this and without hesitation I responded that I really want to write a book. This is no secret, I have mentioned it on here numerous times, still I linger in the state of twirling ideas in my head and typing out a few short stories or blog posts.... I have done nothing more to go after this long time goal. Perhaps because I've seen it as impossible or vain. There have been times when I thought to myself "who would read my book? What would I even write about? Could I really tell my story?" My list of arguments with myself goes on and on. In the end of that raging battle in my mind, I come up with one answer....undecided. The same friend who provoked these thoughts also gave me wise advice, "you don't have to know, just write. You don't need an audience or an ending, just write it."

So maybe it takes no shape or has no outline, but the chapters will begin in my journals (yes, plural, I have a few that I write different things...) and on notes, however and whenever I have the ideas, I will start recording them. Truth is, I think maybe I have something inside that just one person needs to hear or relate to, that would make a reason for my writing. I'm on a journey now to live in each moment, grasp the emotion it holds, savor it, explore it, record it....and get back to being FULLY and vivaciously...me.



Totally out of my comfort zone to show a picture of myself THIS close up. I'm pushing myself outside the walls and limitations I have been living in, pictures and all. :)

{indelible memories} ~ austin area child photographer

Dean Martin said it so well when he crooned "memories are made of this..." Because this is exactly what I set out to do, build memories with my girls. Does that happen by accident? Yes, I think sometimes it does, but I also think we have to live purposefully and make the most of each day. For me personally that means finding ways to enhance the here and now in a natural way, but to be very "present."

When thinking about my own childhood, I remember "grand" events here and there, a few special Christmas gifts or outing to a circus once where I dressed so shabbily that we had to stop on the way and buy me something suitable to wear. Funny how that trick never worked a second time... My fondest memories however, are times that my mom woke me in the middle of the night for a picnic in the living room, or my sister and I dared each other to run through our nasty backyard pond, swimming for hours in the river on our annual summer vacation, playing mermaid in our pool, playing games with my grandparents, trying to put on shows for money in our living room, and this list could easily drag on for miles. I remember the seemingly insignificant, way more than the uber planned and extremely momentous occasions. Why is that? I can't explain it, but it gave me this exciting revelation that I could actually begin creating happy memories with my girls just by making the most of little pockets of time and savoring them, then talking about them, and asking what they like and don't like... looking for ways to surprise and delight them. I've become a more spontaneous and happy person in just 3 days.

I've always trotted a little off the beaten path when it comes to my parenting style and I offer no apology about that. I am SO proud of my girls and I don't take full credit for who they are by any means, but I do applaud myself for sticking with my methods even when questioned. My girls are open and free spirited, but polite and fairly well behaved (they are kids, so yes, we have tantrums, tears, ect.). This new idea though makes me feel like I have SO much more to learn about being a mother and as I read recently "A treasure house for happy memories." That's what I want for my girls. I want them to recall times like I do, when my dad read to me in "voices" at bedtime or bursting into song in the car just because. As silly as I have always been, I am stepping up the game for myself and enjoying my days as a child again. How lucky to have a window and connection to youth such as young children, I am beyond blessed, but to also have the chance to grow in friendship with these incredible girls as they begin to mature....does every mom feel as unworthy and truly grateful as I do?!?! I'm out of words now, with tears in my eyes all I can do is sit and muse over how much love I can have for these little ladies.

Below are some pictures from our sunset adventure a couple days ago. Nothing more than a quilt, some snackies, and a short hike...but I will never forget this evening and I hope they won't either.









"The days go slowly, but the years go fast." - Gretchen Rubin

{ toasty + chill } ~ austin area child photographer

It's been one of those lovely laid back days where small tasks are accomplished at the pace of a slow moving snail and treats are consumed without any guilt whatsoever. These days make me smile. They are called "my atypical day off." Usually I have piles of work to do and running around tying up loose ends that have unraveled during my work week. I must be doing something right lately though, because today I did have some work I brought home, but I did it quickly while I had the girls color pictures to send to Avery at camp. I even managed to get on the treadmill for a run, followed by a short round of pilates with the cutest 4 year old by my side.

Pardon the confusion left by my last post. I am NOT leaving the blog world, in fact quite the opposite. I have been churning ideas in my head about writing a book and I think I will begin by researching through my blog. So I hope to be posting almost daily. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the thought of trying to DAILY upload pictures and all of that, but this will not always include a picture. This will be a journey of self examination and motivation through challenging myself and then journaling what I learn from each thing I push myself to do. I hope this isn't too confusing, please post questions and ideas for me, even challenges you think I should put myself up to.

Today my first challenge went well. I dared myself to not wear make-up or fix up at all, to just enjoy being relaxed and completely chill for an entire day. Here is what happened....



I let Masyn sleep in until 10 AM. I made Evelyn breakfast and we had a good snuggly morning just reading and talking until she became interested in blocks and I put on my running shoes. After my run we had some good healthy time on the floor doing Pilates and then we stretched and laughed about how sweaty I was. I cleaned up a little and put on some cut offs and a t-shirt. Already I felt like my day was flying by, but I had managed to work out, I swelled with pride. Masyn woke up and I made her some breakfast, we watched Kittens on YouTube which started both girls on a silly laughing spree. I steamed my skirt for tomorrow's work day and tried on my planned outfit, so I knocked out one thing from my to-do list tomorrow! Next I grabbed a stack of cards and went to work on correspondence for work as well as two personal letters to my nieces at camp. This chill day was going great, I wasn't wasting any time on worrying or nonsense.



We weren't hungry until a little later in the day, so after a late lunch I served some banana pudding I also found time to make. Set the timer for 20 minutes of playtime and then called for a household siesta! This was amazing, I got to sleep in the middle of the day. First I read for a while to get drowsy enough to actually sleep, and then I slept! Oh how beautiful it felt, especially because last night I shared a bed with both of my littles and they were taking over, I almost fell off the bed 3 times and Evelyn did fall once. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep. After the much needed nap, we played some more, colored, talked a while. My girls and I just hung out. I can't even tell you how precious this time was for me. The fact that my kids want to spend time communicating and learning, I am SO grateful for this.



Dinner...what the heck, I decided to take them out. They were so good and that's pretty much their favorite thing to do. They chose McDonalds and of course because they wanted to play. I said "yes" grabbed a book, put on a bra and some shoes and out the door we went. What a great time, I let them play and read for a bit. Masyn ran into a friend from her class, Colin, who she refers to as "Colin, not like on the phone." My girls played with him and his little sister and I chatted with their Nanny. It was so nice to just be outside, even in 1000* weather. What a great choice to just go with the flow instead of insisting on something I would rather do, I found a way to make it work together and felt much more accomplished having just let things roll.

Back at home it was time for a bath. I have to pause now to tell you all Masyn's funny comment for the day. Evelyn needed a band-aid for her leg so we stopped at the store and she picked a box of Barbie band-aids. As we talked about these during bath, Masyn happily said "Barbie is pretty. You know, Barbie kinda looks like me. I think Barbie is ME, as a teenager!" I love her confidence.

So that was my first full day of daring myself something. Hope I didn't bore you all. I must admit, I impressed myself with what I could get done and still remain totally laid back at the same time. I didn't even mention that I washed and folded two loads of laundry! :)

Let me know your thoughts and ideas....I'm anxious to hear.

{esoteric inspiration} - austin area photographer

Wow, May is gone. I spent the month working as hard as I possibly could. I was lucky enough to be part of a new store opening and we had much to do! It's still a very busy time in my life, but the wildest part is over and now I'm back to assure you I am not dead. However, I am suffering from a back injury but that's a whole different story.

Today I was inspired to write. It won't reach many I am sure, especially since I've lost all readers on here, but something inside me stirred today when a scent hit my nose and I was overwhelmed with the need to put it into words. Not just the memory that the smell evoked, but the rush of emotion that has been waiting for work to slow down to make it's presence known.

I was walking to the pool, my first day in a series of vacation days that are desperately needed. Bag packed with a book, iPod, water, and lotion, ingredients to a perfect rest by the pool and the occasional dip when Texas heat gets the best of me. I passed a van idling in the parking lot and the smell of diesel gasoline and the extreme high temperature outside took me straight back to the summer of '96. Yep, I was 14 and I was driving a tractor for my brother during rice harvest. For the rest of my life, diesel will make me think of our farm, but today was unique, I could even picture the clothes I had on. It was surreal. As I let myself be carried back in time, my mind flooded with good memories, sad memories, pains, joys, celebrations, moments of grief, and dreams for future. Maybe it was profound, maybe it was heat related hallucination, I don't care...it was magical. Like all of my life from the most hurtful to most rewarding were right there and they all connected just right. I haven't lead a "hard knock" life and I haven't lived a charmed life either, but it's my life. Yesterday I was kind of sad over some things and I focused throughout the day on choosing to be happy about the good. Today's epiphany makes yesterday seem so silly. I want this level of awareness always, I feel so grateful in this moment, for every single life experience I have ever had...

For my farewell, here is a picture of my new "family."

{ my-self } ~ austin area photographer un-done

Sher, this is for you...for making me feel special on a day when feeling special seemed impossible. For always being my friend, even when you were completely alone in caring about me. I definitely would not be able to live a life that didn't include you, and my French would be far worse than it already is. Without you, my life would have a huge void where all our great memories would be missing. I would not have learned the things I am about to say about myself, and I wouldn't be strong enough to actually say them. You are a sunspot in my life lovely, you will always be my best friend, my long lost sister, my twin soul. I love you Sher, thanks for sharing so many special afternoons with me, for opening your heart to me and for helping to heal my own.

xo,
Ame



I've learned these things about myself.
I'm a nice girl, and as cliche as it sounds, we will always finish last. I'm okay with that, because I always want to see others succeed, I'm just now learning to give myself some credit. Thanks for my bosses for pushing me in this.
I am an over achiever, in almost everything.
My expectations are unrealistic, and I'm okay with that.
My body will never look like it did before kids, and no matter how nice people are, they haven't seen me naked and just don't get it.
I will try almost anything once. Fear isn't something that holds me back and I don't care if I look dumb.
Snuggling is the key to my heart.
I am deceptively strong, physically and emotionally.
My two biggest flaws/strengths: my sensitivity and my willingness to forgive.
I can become friends with just about anyone.
I sell myself short a lot.
Heavy metal is about the only genre of music I never listen to.
My girls are lucky to have me, but I am even luckier to have them.
I have skills with a camera.
I can teach myself almost anything.
Nobody can challenge my bravery.
28 is my number, not my age, I'm way older.
Sometimes even I need to sleep.
The more I run, the bigger my butt gets and I think it's okay (so does Evy).
I have trouble being mean to others, but I can say the cruelest things about myself.
When I'm really upset, I want to cut my own hair or throw dishes, but I don't do either..I run.
I miss my family.
I cherish my friends.
Trust is something I give too easily.
Money doesn't have power over me.
I wish I had more patience with my girls.
I get that I am a work in progress, and I wish I had more patience with this process.

That's all I can say right now, I need to go run. I love you Sher, I hope you enjoy this because I'm sweating bullets. :)