Wednesday, October 14, 2009

it's time

I had a different day in mind for my day off work, but this day evolved in a way that makes me happy to say my predictions were way off. I planned on working on photos, not self portrait though..which is what I am sharing below.

Most of you knew before my surgery, as I did post those grotesque pictures back in May. For any stragglers or (fat chance) newcomers, I had spinal fusion from L3 to T4 (I think) and a section removed from 3 of my ribs on the left side. It was hellacious and I hope to never have surgery again. My mom was such a trooper to put up with my daily complaints and begging to be euthanized.

The doctor said I would feel better in 6 months and by a year I will be stronger and happier than before surgery. Well, I guess I'm healing "okay," but I'm not a patient person and I have pushed myself a little more than I should have at times. I have been scolded for it, so please spare me any more verbal flogging. Thanks. ;-)

{get straight}

I went back to work full time after about 3 months. Since that point I have made progress such as being able to buckle my shoes (yes, that was impossible), touch the floor, do most of my pilates again, and lift things over 10 lbs. Wow, baby steps. Today though, I was restless and had so much energy... I just needed to run... something I've missed since the day I went under the knife. November 15th is my 6 month mark, where I will be officially cleared for pretty much all normal activity (in moderation). Not so reluctantly I am admitting to you that I ran. I ran and I loved it. I felt like such a stiff and awkward lug, but it was so good to feel a little burn, to sweat like a race horse, and to let myself feel 100% free.

After my run I finished up my workout and showered and then I felt compelled to finally shoot my "after" self portrait. This is me, I'm straight and yeah, still quite frustrated with how limited my flexibility is... but I'm moving, I'm running, I'm not scared of the garish scar that Masyn lifted my shirt to show her new friend from the bus today (yeah, she thinks I'm her personal freak show). I don't know if I believe my doctor yet, if I will ever be glad I chose to have this surgery.... but I am crossing my fingers and enjoying the small triumphs that I am experiencing.

{get straight}

And to my very best and beautiful Canadian friends.. Lady GaGa showing love to the word you've given me to replace my idiotic sounding "huh." Eh, eh!!



Aberdeen said...

Wow! So this was what you were talking about when you mentioned "being on your back all summer". Poor thing! I'm so happy you are coming out of it with such high spirits!

I, too, had surgery--both knees--and I was told I would have limited mobility, but I can run again. The body is so precious :)

gillian said...

Gotta love the Canadianisms catching on! :) I bet Daria is to credit for that. ;)

Now, your back...HUN! WOW! I had not idea how much of your spine we were talking about here... it's not a small part!!!

We are rooting you on Amelia!!


amelia said...

Thanks ladies!!

Aberdeen~ Oh wow, knee surgery is said to be one of the worst! I'm so glad you are all well!!

Gyl~ I LOVE you and I think I should just relocate to Canada, but it's so cold.... :o(

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

It looks very painful. :( But I'm glad you're healing well! And running?! That's very impressive.

julie said...

My niece has healed so nicely and I think your scar looks great. She even work a bikini at the beach this year. You will one day be happy, I promise. Until then feel free to curse under your breath as you begin to run again.
Wishing you well

Daria - Boutique Cafe said...

Loved the homage to your Canadian friends - I'm guessing that means ME!! :)

Sure love you Amelia, and I'm happy that you are healing. I know it's a long process but just think of how far you've come in just 6 months. I hope you'll do whatever you can to allow yourself the time you need to heal, then when you're ready this whole ordeal will have been worth it. I'm so excited for you to have your Quality of Life back again.

Don't push yourself too much, I know it's hard but I worry about you. Love you tons eh! :)

Vanessa said...

i think you're amazing and your patience has been admirable. it must have been so hard for someone as active as you to have to just stop and rest up (not to mention the pain you must have gone through). i am confident that in time you will indeed be glad you underwent this endurance test. look at you... you're already so healed and so positive.
hugs and love, Vx

Elizabeth Cranmer said...

You're straight, straight back is stunning! Your scar look slike it will be a beautiful one, as far as scars go. I love that you are sharing this with us. What a journey?

Your running comment reminded me of when Pheobe goes running with Racheal in 'Friends'. She runs like kermet the frog and loves to let loose and be free because, well people do see you looking goffy but it's only for a second and then your gone.....

Totally get your hands on that episode and watch it, it'll have you laughing for sure!!

Love your coming your way! Beautiful images!