Wednesday, August 18, 2010

{ acclimatize + focus } ~ austin area photographer

So there is a great deal of unknown in my life right now. There are hazy places where I can't tell you for certain what comes next. Yet, I have clarity of mind and dreams so sharp they can't be denied of their deep meaning. I choose not to fear the unknown.

I've been turning over in my mind all my past and how I have reached this precipice in my life. Exhilarated about things coming and realizing how my life has built to jumping out toward goals, living full force. I am an uncommon lady.

{ in out + in between }

I almost died at 18 months and I can actually remember it.

My sister ran away from home when I was 11 and I was devastated.

I experienced heartbreak at 15.

Being 16 and pregnant in a small town taught me that I was strong enough to lose all my friends and still go on living a full life of love with my new baby girl.

Working full time in a place where I was the age of most people's children or grandchildren helped me realize what I did and did not want to be as a mother. It also showed me I can get along with just about anyone.

Marrying young made me realize how much more grown up I was in mind/body/and life experience than in my emotions/heart.

Learning to sew and building my name as a successful children's designer made me see that anything is possible if I want it bad enough.

Growing in my photography skills made me stop and stare at the little things and delve deeper into life and soul searching.

I went to college at 25, first time in any school ever and I fell in love again....with writing.

When I moved to Austin I learned that I could make friends in an unknown place and I would always have my true friends back home and abroad, even if we spoke less.

Going through divorce I learned how selfish I can be at the same time as I saw how giving I am.

Living on my own, I have come to a place where I know my life can only go as far as I believe, and I believe I have a lot of people to love and care for, many places to go, a great deal of life lessons to share, and several adventures to experience.



shelli said...

Seeing there is a new Amelia post is like opening a present. I look so forward to them. I'm still separated from my husband w/no money for a divorce and in a way it's so much harder than if we could just move on with things. We've been together for nearly 19 years, both not really wanting to let go completely. I know that when/if we make that break I CAN make it and you have helped so much with that. You are not only surviving you and your girls' lives and souls are thriving! Thank you for shining a light telling me I CAN make strides for myself and my future :)

Anonymous said...

awesome blog, do you have twitter or facebook? i will bookmark this page thanks. jasmin holzbauer